Try walking a mile (or 10,500 miles) in Beefy’s shoes and tell me you’re not hurting

He’s had Covid, had both hip replaced, endured major spinal surgery and lost his best mates but Ian Botham is wining not whining

Ian Botham: ‘I’ve just had the worst two years of my life, forget lockdown’ Picture: John Feder.

I’d like to report that he was by meal’s end drunk as a lord, but while Lord Botham is in fine form, he does not reach the levels of ­inebriation those of his office are famed for.

He arrives right on time dressed in shorts, boating shoes, a casual shirt and is surprisingly full of beans. He’s had Covid, a series of operations and suffered a number of personal setbacks, but you wouldn’t know it today.

When last seen at the Ashes in 2019, Sir Ian Botham – he was to be appointed to the House of Lords the following year – looked to be carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. In truth he was paying the price for the physical extremes he put his body through as a cricketer.

No, not the 21,815 balls he bowled in 102 Test matches, nor the 63,547 he sent down in first-class fixtures, not even the 22,899 in List A clashes.

And no, it is not the off-field excesses that took their toll. Which is extraordinary. Derek Pringle’s excellent book Pushing the Boundaries: Cricket in the Eighties includes many tales of Botham’s antics including his “predilection for necking, often down in one, huge jugs of whisky and ice cream”. Pringle says he settles any argument on who was the better all-rounder of the era – Imran Khan, Richard Hadlee, Kapil Dev or Botham – by pointing out that the Englishman “achieved what he did on a skinful and never going to bed before 2am … in that respect, he was not just up against his opponents but his own rebel self”.

Botham blames his physical woes on the camber of roads.

While that wouldn’t be much of a problem for anyone, the former English all-rounder has covered 16,900km on charity walks in a host of countries while raising over $16m for charitable causes.

He’s paid for it in recent times.

“I’ve just had the worst two years of my life, forget lockdown,” he announces after making assurances about the quality of the wine he has ordered.

“My spine had to be redone from when I had it fused in 1987 after that tour here. They did the fusion, they said I wouldn’t play cricket afterwards, but I played for England, played the World Cup in ‘92 etc, but it shifted from the walks, 10,500 miles on the road, it shifted half a millimetre and made all the difference, they were really worried about that and its potential to cripple me.

“I was in a shitload of pain at the time, I was ash grey and I could hardly speak from the pain.

“I had the operation and that was 14 months on crutches, then I had the right hip done which I should have had done before the spine, but the spine was more dangerous, so by the time I had that done, the hip had broken up. I have pictures, it’s unbelievable, there’s chunks of them missing.

“When I was leaving hospital after having the hip I was going past the nurses I said ‘see you later’ and they started giggling and asked if I had seen the photos from the other hip so four months later that came out.”

Being back in the southern hemisphere to join Channel 7’s commentary team for the Ashes has put a spring in his step.

“In some ways I feel quite at home here because I have so many friends here, mates who I look forward to seeing,” he says.

Botham was appointed trade envoy to Australia in August but there’s no diplomatic flattery in his words. His opposite number Tony Abbott proved his devotion to the Mother Country by awarding a knighthood to Prince Philip, Botham proved his for here with repeated visits.

“I have no idea how many times I have come to Australia but if you put it all together, I reckon 10 years of my life have been spent in Australia,” he says.

“The longest period I have ever spent away has been the last two years due to the lockdown.

“I first came over on a scholarship in ‘76. I came to grade cricket to play for (Melbourne) Uni, it was different. It was actually quite intense, I didn’t expect it to be that full-on.

“I’d already played for England in the one-day team and I came to Uni and it was the wettest summer. We only played about five days of cricket. It rained every Thursday and Friday and about 5pm every Friday afternoon they’d call the games off. It was a good chance to get to know the Uni boys and I’ve stayed in touch with a few of them who I’ll catch up with when I’m down there.”

Melbourne University cricket club’s history says Botham and Graeme Stevenson arrived that year and “neither gave much indication … of the international honours which lay ahead”.

Further research reveals a pretty modest return for the 21-year-old Whitbread Scholarship boy. He was run out for a duck and sent down eight overs for a return of 0-83 in the first match. The following three games saw him score a total of 43 runs and take 6-218.

He did, however, make friends that have lasted a lifetime. Victorian cricket’s Brendan McArdle scored 129 swashbuckling runs for Northcote in Botham’s first game and while it is a special memory for the batsman, who played 11 first-class games, he says it was also one of the most “fortunate things to happen in my life”.

“Beefy is a great bloke, he’s loyal and he’s always remembered me from then and had tickets waiting whenever I go to England for the Ashes,” he says. McArdle tosses in a few tales from state training – part of the scholarship was for the Englishman to bowl in the nets – where Botham impressed the Victorians with his ability to skol various drinks.

The last time Botham was here he had business to do for his old mate, the late Bob Willis, with their partner in Australia, wine legend Geoff Merrill.

The English duo have a deep affection for Adelaide that dates back to a fortuitous encounter during their playing days.

Merrill and Willis’ widow were determined some of his ashes be spread on Merrill’s estate in February last year.

Botham says the woolly quick was like a big brother to him.

“We were very close. I don’t think a day passes when Bob doesn’t flash through (my mind), I’ll be drinking a glass of wine and think ‘oh Bob used to love this shiraz was his favourite,’ little things like that,” he said.

We might be a few wines in because the talk turns to the passing-out parade in recent years and ends with Botham boasting about his attention to getting his plumbing checked as he recounts the tale of a two former cricket allies suffering issues, one of whom rang to inform him “the chipolata isn’t working any more mate”.

“It’s weird things you would never have thought about while you’re playing, prostates and things like that, and now you are living in it,” he says. “It’s that age.

“I went and saw my heart specialist before I came out, I had the works. I do it once a year.

“Another good mate of mine, (England bowler) Mike Hendrick, died recently, we were very, very close. We shared (a lot) together. We both had dysentery together, now there’s an interesting story. The first time we went to Pakistan we both got it. We were in adjoining rooms but we were that bad we didn’t see each other for three weeks because we just couldn’t move. I was only 21.”

Botham’s been married for the best part of half a century to Kath. The couple share an estate in England and an affection for these parts – including New Zealand.

“Last time in Australia was to distribute Bob’s ashes, we then went to New Zealand and got out two days before it all closed down,” he says.

You wonder how Botham would have gone in today’s cricket environment where expectations have changed considerably.

“If I was playing now I’d have adapted because I wouldn’t have known anything else,” he says. “The one problem I would have had is the intensity of nets because I hate nets. Even when I played for England I didn’t enjoy the nets and they worked out very quickly that I didn’t want to be in there. I used to just stand there and try and smash every ball so they’d lose them and couldn’t keep bowling to me.

“I’d have adapted to it, but I am not sure I would enjoy the way the game is at the moment. For me the focus was always Test cricket and I understand the finances, being the chairman of Durham I understand exactly the value T20 and The Hundred have. But I just find the 20-over games and The Hundred entertaining and brilliant at bringing young kids to the grounds which was something that needed to be done, that and increasing female participation.”

Botham has a newspaper column which tends to reflect the concerns of estate holders keen on their hunting and fishing. The bottle of wine is drained when I suggest that on reading his work it appears clear that the greatest threat to our delicate ecology is the green movement. He makes no effort to deny it.

Botham points out how environmentalists were responsible for the bushfires in Australia and the reintroduction of beavers had caused flooding and the destruction of 400-year-old oaks in England.

And it was probably best to wind it up then for a number of reasons, but mostly because he had offered to put the meal on his room tab.