Tim Paine sexting scandal: Barmy Army prepare new R-rated song for the Ashes

Tim Paine’s sexting nightmare isn’t going away anytime soon, with the Barmy Army set to hammer the former skipper with a new set of songs during the Ashes. FULL LYRICS INSIDE.

England’s Barmy cricket supporters have promised no mercy for under siege former Australian captain Tim Paine if he makes it to Brisbane for the first Ashes Test at the Gabba next month.

This year’s Ashes series, which starts at the Gabba from December 8, will be devoid of mass support from England due to quarantine restrictions but local expats promise to be in full voice and rally behind their team.

A crowd of around 150 kept the faith at Peter Burge Oval in Brisbane on Tuesday as England started their Australian tour with a waterlogged three-day trial among themselves.

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The Barmy Army has penned some new tunes about Tim Paine's sexting saga.

George Gallantree, organiser of the Brisbane Barmies group of local-based expats who are likely to fill up to 1300 seats at the Gabba and are part of England’s iconic Barmy Army network, revealed Aussie wicketkeeper Paine will be the focus of their attention.

They had already penned a parody for Paine that was taking aim at his batting efforts, and lack of a Test century, but sometimes opportunities to get creative just land in your lap which is exactly what happened last Friday with Paine’s tearful exit as Test captain for sending lewd images to a female colleague four years ago.

Tim Paine will be in the spotlight this summer – and the England fans won’t let him off lightly. Picture: Getty

As such they’ve already penned a parody song about Paine’s sexting scandal to the My Old Man’s A Dustman tune and are mulling over a few different versions of R-Rated lyrics which start “Tim Paine was your captain he had a mobile phone’’.

The lyrics then go on to reference Shane Warne, the Australian Test great who endured several scandals during his career particularly around the Ashes, and finishes off with “Send a picture of your bone.”

“We had about five versions of the song the day the scandal broke,’’ Gallantree said.

“We will be singing Jerusalem on the first morning and we will have a trumpeter on hand. We will also sing a special song for Tim and we will have other songs.

Shane Warne gets a mention in the Barmy Army’s dig at Paine. Picture: Getty

“We have three bays at the Gabba and have 1300 seats all up. We have sold 70% of seats because there has been so much talk about whether it is on or not.’’

England had a subdued playing start to their tour after rain interrupted their three-day trial against their English Lions back-up players.

Heavy showers forced the abandonment of the day with openers Rory Burns (39 not out) and Haseeb Hameed (52) batting through three rain delays to be 0-98 at stumps.

Gallantree has already got his shirt signed by pace duo Stuart Broad and Jimmy Anderson who are on their farewell Australian tours.

BARMY ARMY SONGS FOR TIM PAINE

Tim Paine to the tune of My Old Man’s A Dustman by Lonnie Donegan

Tim Paine was your captain

He had a mobile phone

Advice came in from Warnie

Send a picture of your bone

Tim Paine to the tune of I’m Gonna Be by the Proclaimers

When you go out, when you go out to the crease

You know that Anderson is waiting there for you

So you’ll get out, and you’ll get our really cheaply

Yeah, it’s just a simple fact that is what you’ll do

And-a he won’t make a hundred runs,

Oh no, he won’t post a hundred score

Because he’s the man who’s captaincy

And batting is just really poor...