South Africa passes its Ultimate Test, at last

Australia’s top three made a combined 49 runs across both innings of the disastrous World Test Championship Final. That’s a sackable offence.

First things first.

The concept of the World Test Championship Final is a winner. The International Cricket Council is expertly capable of corny, cheesy, hackneyed, cringe-worthy marketing slogans but plugging the Lord’s showdown as The Ultimate Test was right on, brothers, because all sports need a winner-takes-all decider, and Test cricket is perhaps the most captivating escapable of all, Shakespeare in whites, and so a two-year regular season culminating in a grand final is a dramatic, thrilling and welcome addition to an almost cartoonishly jam-packed calendar.

Second things second.

Last week I asked, how on Earth did South Africa make the final? I’ll now propose another impossible riddle. How in the good and suddenly hallowed name of Aiden Markram did the Proteas win it? They were too good, that’s how, romping home with five wickets and a day-and-two-thirds to spare. Australia’s bowlers carried the batsmen to Lord’s but the load was too heavy in the sobering, sorrowful end. There’s only one sensible course of pre-Ashes action when it comes to the crudely underperforming top order. Blow it up.

Let’s not compare SA’s stirring triumph to the Springboks getting up in the 1995 Rugby World Cup while Nelson Mandela nodded his approval from the good seats at JoBurg’s Ellis Park Stadium, this isn’t quite so black-and-white, but the rank underdog upset was the finest moment in their rich yet previously heartbreaking cricketing history.

South Africa captain Temba Bavuma celebrates with his team and son Lihle Picture: Getty Images

“All the questions that have been asked in the past have, fortunately, now been answered,” Markram said while referencing SA’s tradition of snatching T20 and ODI World Cup defeats from the gullets of victory.

“The Test one is always going to be, in my opinion, the toughest one. It’s many days of playing good cricket, whereas in a T20 or even one-day cricket nowadays, you just need one person to really put their hand up on the day and you can get a win. This was always going to be the toughest.”

Gasp, at last, the Proteas won an ICC Trophy. Even after it happened, captain Temba Bavuma, only three-apples high but large of heart, courage and contribution, sat motionless on the Lord’s balcony as though he still didn’t believe it would happen. He finished the day with the trophy in one hand and his young son, Lihle, in the other.

“The tag of us being chokers, that came about this morning,” he said. “One of their players threw out the fact we could still get bowled out. I definitely heard that. It will be great to not have to hear it again, that’s for sure.”

Which Australian player gave the chokers sledge? Probably Labuschagne. And yet at the home of cricket, the Proteas were home and hosed as long as Markram was at the crease, and by the time he departed for 136 his side had all but secured the title of best Test team in the world. No debates there. You win the grand final and you’re the best. All bow.

“South Africa were too good,” Australian paceman Mitchell Starc said. “We weren’t quite good enough.”

Aiden Markram is congratulated by Nathan Lyon and Marnus Labuschagne after his matchwinning century Picture: Getty Images

Third things third.

Eye-catching was Markram’s stony-faced reaction to one of the great Test innings. Upon dismissal, victory in the bag, all Proteas’ demons dead and buried, he trudged through the Long Room with the longest face, with the aspect of a man who might otherwise be approaching a particularly distressing funeral.

Didn’t he wish to have embraced and rejoiced more in the moment? “I wish I could have,” he said. “But that’s me being me when I get out. I’m always angry. At least looking at the building in front was pretty special. And then, naturally, the walk was incredibly special. So at least there’s one or two memories from that.”

Every Australian player in the vicinity had scurried over, crablike, disappointed and drab-like, to shake his hand. “I noticed it for sure,“ Markram said. “It was a great touch from their side. There’s quite a bit of banter had on the field but all’s well that ends well, I guess. It’s always nice to be appreciated from that position.”

Fourth things fourth.

What now for the dethroned Australians? The biggest trophy in the sport is no longer in the cabinet at Jolimont Street. Colours have been lowered. Realities have set in. A heavy and galling loss has been inflicted. The batting was ruinously unreliable. Again, blow up the top order. Blow it to smithereens. The bowlers performed like Test world champions but oh dear, the batting was second-tier and boring while two excitement machines, Sam Konstas and Josh Inglis, twiddled their thumbs on the bench.

Sam Konstas is a likely starter for Australia in their next Test against the West Indies Picture: AFP

The injured Steve Smith’s absence was keenly felt in the field. Khawaja was aloof and barely made a peep while filling his shoes. The vibe in the field was flat without Smith, who’s compound dislocation of his right little finger makes him unlikely to play June 25’s first Test against the West Indies. This may give the woefully underperforming Marnus Labuschagne a reprieve and yet you hope it’s the cue to usher in the next generation. My openers? Konstas and Inglis. Have a crack.

Fifth things fifth.

Australia’s top three of Usman Khawaja, Labuschagne and Cam Green made a combined 49 runs across both innings. That’s a sackable offence. A horror show. They failed their Ultimate Test. Again, blow ‘em up. Over the last two years, from one grand final to another, from Lord’s to Lord’s, Khawaja has averaged 39.66 (so tempted to dump him), Labuschagne 27.82 (au revoir), Green 31.46 (persist, perhaps lower). Smith is the only pass mark at 41.26. Travis Head averages only 34. There’s a whole lot of failures either side of his fabulousness. Is it really the go to have Green and Beau Webster, two all-rounders, in the top six?

“It does feel like a little bit of a fresh start,” captain Pat Cummins said of the new two-year Test cycle beginning in the Windies. “Fast forward a couple of years, you start thinking about who’s going to win, hopefully if we make the final, who’s going to be in that? Do we want to get some games into them?”

And the chorus sang, yes!

“Do we feel like now is the right time to change?” Cummins asked.

Yes!

“Or do you hold with the team that got us to the final?”

No!

“We’ve got a couple of weeks before the first Test in the Windies, so we’ll sit down and have a bit of a think after we digest this game,” Cummins continued. ”But for me, I think a new WTC cycle in some ways does feel like a bit of a reset. It’s probably more for the selectors and for me to sit down and map it ahead. In white-ball series, a lot of the time you build on four-year cycles around World Cups. Maybe it’s an opportunity in the Test match arena to do something similar.”

Yes!

“It’s a little bit early to tell,” Cummins said. “But guys like Sam Konstas and Scotty Boland and Josh Inglis, all those guys who are right on the fringes ... everyone gets thrown back into the conversation ... for that first Test in Barbados. That’s one of the good things about the World Test Championship. Every Test series and Test match feels like you’re playing for something significant. So, in some ways, it’s good that we get to dust ourselves off and turn around in a couple of weeks to start looking ahead to the next one.“