Humiliation as spin twins make short work of England

England had one of its best sessions of the tour only to capitulate to its worst ever Ashes series loss.

Darcie Brown put a dent in England opener’s Maia Bouchier’s middle stump and the Ashes Test would be won in three days at the MCG. The patrons sensed it immediately. Behind the England dugout inside this vast cathedral of Australian sport, three visiting lads with Cockney accents shook their heads and said, “This’ll be done by stumps.”

And so it was. Funnily enough, in the funny old game, England had one of its better afternoons of a famously disastrous tour. Heather Knight’s side took a few catches – hold the back page! – while grabbing 5-9 – hold the front page! – to dismiss Australia for 440. Beth Mooney advanced her overnight 98 to 106, becoming the second woman to score a Test century at the MCG after Annabel Sutherland’s 163 on Friday, before Australia’s collapse left it with a first innings lead of 270 runs.

The agony and ecstasy: Australia’s Phoebe Litchfield, left, and Beth Mooney celebrate the fall of the last England wicket, Lauren Filer, right, as the tourists are whitewashed in the multi-format series Picture: AFP

England needed to survive a day-and-a-half, or thereabouts, to save the Test. Pigs might get airborne. God saved the England fielding but nothing would save the batting. Bouchier lasted all of 13 minutes. Brown’s delivery knocked her middle stump flat on its back – it toppled over like a ten-pin – and a defeated air once more descended on the English. An unprecedented 16 points to nil hiding across the multi-format system was guaranteed. It was a matter of when, not if.

Annabel Sutherland takes the winning catch Picture: AFP

And the Australian’s celebrate Picture: Getty Images

Skipper Knight and opener Tammy Beaumont looked settled until the introduction of Alana King in the 23rd over. England was 1-62. The atmosphere changed as soon as legspinner King and offspinner Ash Gardner started working in tandem. Suddenly, a wicket seemed possible every ball. “Hey, I’m in the game,” King said while mic’d up between overs. “Just got to stay patient.” What a world. Her interview was cut short because she had to bowl again.

Gardner removed Knight (32), caught sharply by Phoebe Litchfield at short leg. England was 2-79 and Nat Sciver-Brunt was on her way to the middle. Sciver-Brunt’s half-century in the first innings had been good and proper Test batting. England’s hopes would vanish when she did. Two quick boundaries off King were a reminder of her threat – but King trapped her LBW for 18 and the bell was tolling.

“Massive,” King said. “Game on here.”

In other words, game nearly over. She pitched one outside Sophia Dunkley’s leg stump and it clipped the top of off. A glorious delivery in anyone’s language. Australia only needed three wickets after the 7pm dinner break. King had Ryana MacDonald-Gay caught by Brown at mid-wicket. Two to go. Gardner dismissed Sophie Eccleston with a bouncer of all things.

Alana King and the Australian’s celebrate as England’s Sophia Dunkley is bowled by the ball of the series Picture: Getty Image

One, and only one, member of the spin class would join Sutherland and Mooney centuries with a five-wicket haul on the MCG honour board. It was King, after a rather comical wait of half-chances and near-misses while seeking the final wicket, sending Lauren Bell to the pavilion and England home, finishing with 5-53 as Australia won by 122 runs.

Total attendance for the Test was 35,365. A record for a women’s Test.