David Warner braces for abuse on Kiwi tour

Diamond Dave Warner remembers the “pretty derogatory and pretty vulgar” abuse from his last tour of New Zealand.

David Warner is greeted with a hongi before a training session in Wellington Picture:Getty Images

Doug Bollinger was being interviewed by Wellington’s wisecracking media throng before a Test at Basin Reserve. A gentleman grinned mischievously and inquired, “So, Doug. It gets pretty windy here in Wellington. Any concerns about the rug?”

Which is perhaps the funniest question I’ve ever heard. So, Doug, old mate, when you’re running in to bowl your probing left-arm swingers and seamers at a brisk pace, any worries about your new hairpiece taking off like a UFO and landing somewhere near deep mid-wicket? There was a burst of snorting, snickering, muffled laughter from us buffoons in the press gallery before Bollinger replied, “Next question.”

Diamond Dave Warner was at Basin Reserve on Monday. I’m not sure if that same giant of journalistic jauntiness is still around but it made me think, what would one ask Diamond Dave if one wanted to get under his skin? Bunnings has sandpaper on special, bro. Want me to grab you some? Looking forward to reacquainting yourself with Kiwi crowds? Because on his last trip across the ditch, in 2016, Diamond Dave and the Australians received a staggering barrage of insults.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re home or away, you’re going to cop some form of abuse, but we don’t expect to be hounded for six or seven hours,” Diamond Dave said at the time. “Some of the stuff was pretty derogatory and pretty vulgar. The upsetting thing was the fact that, I know if my two daughters were in the crowd, I wouldn’t want them listening to that sort of stuff. When they’re talking about people’s families and stuff it takes it a little bit too far. Some of the boys raised the issue … ‘Look, can you just get rid of this bloke?’, because it’s just not necessary. When they call you names that I probably can’t say, you just laugh at it and go, ‘Look, you know what, sometimes I might be one of those’. But you know you’ve just got to bite your tongue.”

David Warner bats during an Australia training session ahead of the the T20 international series against New Zealand at Basin Reserve Picture: Getty Images

Asked on Monday if he expected a warmer reception for his final tour of NZ, Diamond Dave replied: “Probably not. To be fair, over here the harsh reality is that we’re neighbours and in sport we like to beat each other. We’re going to expect the crowd to come at us as hard as they can. It’s in one ear and out the other ear, if I actually hear anything.

“I just go about my business. That’s upon each individual. If that’s what they feel like they have to do, so be it. If you want to pay your money to come and abuse people, you have to go back and lay in your own bed. We get to play the game of cricket we love and enjoy. We try to put bums on seats to keep the game going.”

You cannot pull the rug from under Diamond Dave’s feet. He couldn’t care less about receiving the sort of hoary old chants Australians used to give Richard Hadlee. Rhymes with banker. Because Diamond Dave is living the life of Riley these days, luxuriating in the penthouse suite of the world’s T20 franchise scene, one big cocktail party, really, still atop the order for Australia for the three-match series against the Kiwis, starting Wednesday, and then the T20 World Cup in the Caribbean and USA in June.

Lift that trophy and Australia will become the first nation to simultaneously hold the Test, ODI and T20 world titles.

“It’d be great for Australian cricket,” Diamond Dave said. “It’s about the fans, as well. Each country has bragging rights. If you happen to hold all three … I just think you become a very, very proud nation. We’re representing everyone in Australia. It’d be great and very, very fitting for this group. But then the challenges are, how to stay there? When you’re on top … you’re being hunted down. The next 12 to 18 months is about who’s the next crop of guys to come through and keep us on top of that mantelpiece? It’s going to be interesting to watch and see.”

Games two and three of the T20 series are at Auckland’s Eden Park on Friday and Sunday. A quick two-Test series will be staged from February 29 at windy Wellington and March 8 at Christchurch. You’d hope Kiwi supporters keep their hair on. Diamond Dave deserves a rousing ovation when the T20 contests are completed. His rough-and-tumble approach has provided grunt to more than a decade of trans-Tasman battles. And the bare numbers of his spectacular Test career – 112 matches, 26 centuries, highest score of 335no and an average of 44.6 – make him a giant of the sport. Patrons at Basin Reserve and Eden Park should be doffing their caps and saying bravo, bro. Pigs might also be flying.

Australia’s T20 squads are normally a hotchpotch of superstars, up-and-coming talents and blokes you never knew existed. This one’s a ripper. Mitchell Marsh will lead a squad featuring Pat Cummins, Steve Smith, Travis Head, Glenn Maxwell, Mitchell Starc, Josh Hazlewood and Diamond Dave, who played club cricket in NZ as a young fella.

Then the forever polarising Diamond Dave provided a wonderful moment of unintended humour when he described former Kiwi Test captain Kane Williamson as “a lovely guy” before adding “we’re chalk and cheese”. He confirmed he would stay on the T20 franchise bandwagon for a couple of years. But he’s gone cold on his previous desire for a post-cricket career in politics.

“I’ll leave that for another time,” he said.