Bumrah crashes Konstas party with a Bollywood smile

Sam Konstas couldn’t play it again. Steve Smith fell short of Everest. Jasprit Bumrah was unplayable. A heck of a Boxing Day Test is heading for a grandstand finish.

Nothing came of nothing. Sam Konstas departed with sorrowful eyes and a sore arm; Steve Smith fell short of Everest. What could have been? It never was. And yet anything and everything is possible on the final day of a hypnotic and quixotic Boxing Day Test.

Konstas sprinted to the MCG crease on Sunday morning and tried to replicate last week’s lighthearted, heavily celebrated debut Test innings so entertaining it warranted a Benny Hill soundtrack. What shall he do? On this occasion, with strapping around his left forearm, with less aggression in his stroke play, with less of a sparkle in his eye, with less dancing in his feet, and after only one attempt to hit the ball far enough to plonk in the Yarra River, the 19-year-old was dismissed for just eight runs by India’s Jasprit Bumrah. Konstas’s expression was unmistakeable. What have I done?

Sam Konstas trudges off the MCG after being bowled by Jasprit Bumrah. Picture: Michael Klein

Apologies, but there’s no way to properly describe the sheer excellence of Bumrah’s bowling. At a fast pace, with a smile on thy dial, with his inside-out, outside-in, slingshot action, like he’s chucking a javelin, he flings leather with the accuracy of an accomplished dart thrower whose eye is especially keen and in. Ball after ball, over after over, day after day, bullseye. You could have watched all 147 years of Test cricket and never witnessed a performance more consistently scintillating than Bumrah for India this summer.

Bumrah, crash, opera. He’s a marvel. He passed 200 Test wickets in a booming spell of 4-56 that could have been painted, framed and hung on the nearest wall. He has none of the snarling, grim-faced, bullish, occasionally boorish aggro of traditional Test speedsters. He constantly parades his Bollywood smile as if he’s been told an especially pleasing knock-knock joke. Jasprit’s a friendly ghost. Test cricket is almost too weak for him. He needs another format of the game, a higher level than Tests, to provide a stiffer challenge. This is a walk in the park.

Jasprit Bumrah celebrates the wicket of Mitchell Starc at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Picture; Morgan Hancock/Cricket Australia via Getty Images

All results remain a possibility. Entering day five, both teams still alive, the Australians will resume on 9/228, leading by 333 runs. The Australians on, off, on-again, off-again favouritism is on again after rallying late on Sunday when tail-enders Nathan Lyon (41no) and Scott Boland (10no) conjured a 55-run partnership. India could win/ Australia should win by taking 10 wickets. We could witness a jaw-dropping, head-scratching, nerve-shredding draw. A tie!

Sam didn’t play it again. Konstas’s failure – welcome to Test cricket, young fella; back in your box, boy – preceded Smith’s attempt to score the 51 runs he required to reach 10,000 career runs. It’s batting’s Everest. The equivalent of breaking the four-minute mile before everyone started doing it. They reckon it takes 10,000 hours to master a craft. Obsessive about his batting, I reckon Smith has his done 10,000 hours about 10,000 times, but his 10,000th run remains on ice until this week’s SCG Test.

Australia's Steve Smith leaves the field after being dismissed. Picture: Martin Keep/AFP

Only 14 batters have reached 10,000 runs. The greatest of the greats, the cream of the crop, the knees of the bees. For Australia, that’s Ricky Ponting, Allan Border and Steve Waugh. Smith would have sold the hair on his head to reach the mark on Sunday, not the least because Australia needed every run it could get, and he’s a team man to his bootstraps, and yet nothing came of what really could have been something.

Everest must wait. Smith departed for just 13 runs, leaving his career tally at 9962. Individualism went out the window, because in the context of the game, Smith had to swing for the fences when Australia required fast runs. He launched into an ambitious, selfless, flamboyant cover drive that succeeded only in giving a nick to the wicketkeeper. Which sets up the milestone for the most fitting place, that delightful little joint called the SCG, where Border and Waugh reached five figures.

What a Test, what a series, what a sport, what drama, what twists, what turns, what tension, what a crowd, reaching a record 299,329, what a day in store on Monday. Grandstand finish? Australia’s held the upper hand since the Benny Hill music was played for Konstas on Thursday but India has refused to yield. Bumrah, crash, true opera. Everything’s happening everywhere all at once.