Ashes series: Boxing Day stripped bare by flat deck

Joe Root pushed his field back and a feeling of inevitability descended on the field on another benign MCG drop-in.

Stuart Broad appeals for lbw against Shaun Marsh Picture: Michael Klein.

England gave their all to get every ounce of movement out of an ­unforgiving pitch, Jimmy Anderson said after play last night.

But in the end the pitch won, which meant the Boxing Day fans — those who wanted quick runs and steady wickets — lost.

“You’d think that the 90,000 who turned up today don’t want to see 244-3,” Anderson said.

“People want to see entertaining cricket, especially in an iconic Test match like the Boxing Day Test match at the MCG.

“We did our best. We didn’t bowl great in the first session. We didn’t add to that excitement — unless you’re a David Warner fan.

“But in the second session we did all we could on that pitch. I know it wasn’t exciting to watch, it wasn’t exciting to play on to be honest. But that’s the pitch we’ve got … we’ve just got to put up with it.”

As England fans have been saying all summer, it’s the hope that kills you. Once again hope paid a brief visit yesterday, showing a leg to tease the tourists before flitting off for a spot of Boxing Day shopping.

In the fourth over, bowled by Stuart Broad, the ball jagged off its still-proud seam to square up Warner. To that point nary a ball had strayed from the straight on a pitch best described as wan.

Perhaps, just perhaps, there’s something in the track, the ­English no doubt thought. As a portent, the delivery was immediately exposed as a false prophet. For later in the same over Warner leant forward in defence and the ball rocketed to the mid-off rope.

A “stroke” with precisely no follow thorough going to the boundary spoke of the pitch’s character, or lack thereof.

Joe Root pushed his field back and a feeling of inevitability ­descended on the field: the Australians were going to score a lot of runs. After just six overs, Root had dispatched a man to the far east and a man to the far west to limit Warner’s cut and pull.

Later he dispensed with a fine leg; so Warner pivoted on the crease to steer a flurry of boundaries to the vacant land beneath the Long Room. The members nodded their approval. Warner, never the most orthodox of players, bunted balls in the air through point, but still there was no square gully to at least make the batsman change his strategy.

Twenty-one minutes into the Test and Warner was already 21. Warner had the key to the door but no key was required to unlock the pitch’s secrets, for there were none. The field spread further and the singles came freely. Root instead tried short covers and mid-wickets, but they appeared more about saving runs than taking wickets.

What little pressure there was vaporised in the clear, blue sky, as Warner and Cameron Bancroft formed a firm base for the relentless, grinding advance that ensued.

The lack of pressure, or more precisely the lack of a short-leg, might have saved Bancroft from making even fewer than his 26.

After some ugly attempts to play short balls, the opener fended at a Broad bumper and popped the ball up to where the short-leg was not. Root closed the barn door after the horse had scarpered, accompanied by the cows and a pig or two.

After the first session the Australians were 0-102, four runs more and 10 wickets less than when they batted first here in 2010. Yes, this was the same square on which England rolled Australia for 98 in 2010 to retain the Ashes.

That pitch was the closest modern equivalent to a wettie, even though only 1.4mm of rain had fallen in the five days leading into the Test.

But it at least proved that drop-ins don’t have to be bland and slow and boring, on the first day at least.

Yesterday’s strip blushed scarlet on the moisture map — but that moisture was so deep a bushie with two bits of bent wire was required to divine it.

Losing the toss was all England needed after having already lost Craig Overton, the PR battle, Ben Stokes, three Tests and the Ashes so far this summer. For the Melbourne pitch, while slow, is full of runs. The Melbourne drop-in is perhaps the ­nation’s most unforgiving Test strip.

When Bancroft fell at last, the tourists were emboldened to at last apply some pressure. Broad momentarily stilled Warner, then on 96, by bowling wide of the off stump to a packed off field, while Woakes kept Usman Khawaja quiet at the other end.

Conventional fields and disciplined bowling and perhaps a soft ball that might have started reversing, helped slow Australia.

The old ways — old-fashioned rings and unfunky covers, mid-wickets and fine-legs — were serving the tourists well. Hope swelled again when Warner and then Khawaja feathered to Jonny Bairstow, only to subside as Smith breezed past 50. Again.