Ashes cricket: Whinge in the willows: a classic English sob story for victorious Aussies to enjoy

A little luck and a healthy dose of sensible old-school cricket has Australia in position to win the Ashes 3-1 at The Oval - a fact England is struggling to accept.

England skipper Ben Stokes is unimpressed with the summer weather. Picture: Getty Images

A little luck and a healthy dose of sensible old-school cricket has Australia in position to win the Ashes 3-1 at The Oval this week — a fact England is struggling to accept.

When they lost at Edgbaston, they’d actually really won by playing a better brand of cricket. When they lost at Lord’s, they comforted themselves by claims to the moral high ground. When they failed to get a result at Old Trafford, they just couldn’t believe how unfair life was and were stumped at how they got themselves into this position.

Australia now has a chance for victory at The Oval, thereby winning the first away Ashes in 22 years.

Pat Cummins admits his side got out of jail when rain ruined England’s chances to square the series at Old Trafford, but the ­English are inconsolable.

The locals’ pillows are as wet as the Old Trafford outfield, but don’t fret too much for them because as their captain Ben Stokes insists, it is not about whether you win or lose, it’s about how you play the game.

It’s about the spirit of cricket as enshrined by the MCC, that illustrious, upper-crust club whose members – some of them – jostled and abused the visiting players in the Long Room.

How’s the investigation going by the way? Identified the three members who didn’t partake in that mob attack yet?

England’s treatment of its visitors since has been less than gracious. The abuse of players, particularly the mild-mannered Alex Carey, has been relentless.

Australia retained the Ashes on a wet weekend in Manchester where only a few hours play where possible. It was a game that England should have won to square the series and set up a winner takes all play-off at The Oval.

Cummins’ side has done what Michael Clarke and Ricky Ponting’s sides both failed to do twice and now has the chance to win the Ashes outright in the fifth Test.

Stokes said his side “were pretty much perfect throughout the whole game”; Cummins admitted it was “not our greatest week”.

Others thought it was just not fair.

Pat Cummins is relieved to escape with a draw. Picture: Getty Images

Former England captain Michael Vaughan seems to have forgotten the home side was outplayed at Edgbaston and Lord’s despite winning the toss and despite the home ground ­advantage and despite the ugly behaviour of its fans.

“I always say in a five-match series the best team always wins,” he said. “I honestly think England have been the better team for the four matches.”

Piers Morgan’s feelings were hurt. “FFS. Has there ever been a less-deserved retention of the Ashes?” he tweeted.

“From the Bairstow debacle to this rain-soaked fiasco, it’s an absolute farce that smirking Australia have ended up with the urn still in their hands. England comfortably the better side as this Test showed. Gutting.”

REMINDER: This is how Australia felt comfortable retaining the Ashes… running out one of our best batsmen when he believed the over was finished and walked off to speak to his teammate. Trevor Chappell will be bursting with pride. pic.twitter.com/U4oP1VLToT

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) July 24, 2023

Stokes says he tried everything. He stared at the rain, but it didn’t go away. He stared at the golf and when he looked back, it still did not go away on the fifth day. It was a shame; the home side was five wickets from a comprehensive victory, the series a similar distance from a nail-biting set up for next Thursday’s match.

Stokes assures himself that the only regret he should have is dropping Nathan Lyon in the tense first Test, but there was hubris in declaring too early at Edgbaston, perhaps a little foolishness in not declaring earlier at Old Trafford, a touch of arrogance in the batting at Lord’s.

Ponting said on Sky Sports that England should regret that first declaration and attempt to bat Bazball in the second Test.

Australia cricket fans celebrate the fifth-day washout at Old Trafford. Picture: Getty Images

“I said right from the start, if they want to play that way, that brand of cricket and they’ve talked about it so much, they sort of back themselves into a corner where they’ve got to play that way,” he said.

“They were in complete control of the game at that point, the batting looked good, they were scoring quickly, and then the loss of those four or five wickets in a short amount of time turned that (Lord’s) Test match on its head.

“I don’t think they identified quick enough that they didn’t need to play that way right there.

“With this approach I think there’s a time and a place against the very best Test teams to be able to play that way. I don’t think they’re going to be able to do it all the time.”

Cummins was conscious that they got away with one in the fourth Test, despite playing poorly, and admitted it was a strange way to retain the trophy.

“As a group, (we’re) proud we’ve retained the Ashes but it’s off the back of not our greatest week,” he said. “We know we’ve got a fail bit of work to do for next week, improvements to make.”