Test selectors Justin Langer and Trevor Hohns then dropped the black texta, picked up a blue pen — one of those with a little button on the end so you can click while you think — and jotted down David Warner’s name next.
READ MORE: Wobbly batting stocks exposed | Labuschagne re-signs with Glamorgan | MCG pitch showing signs of life | Pitch cops blame for pink balls going soft
Marnus. What’s his last name again? He’s next. Just make sure you get the spelling right because we’re hoping to write it down a few more times before the summer is out.
Then Langer and Hohns stared at each other.
The horror show that was Australia’s A batting performance against the touring Pakistanis in Perth on Tuesday had furrowed their brows as they sat down to pick the side for next Thursday’s first Test at the Gabba.
Five Test contenders were picked for an old-fashioned “bat-off” and not one of them did their chances any good.
Queensland opener Joe Burns lasted a single ball. His partner Marcus Harris stayed for 22, adding 16 runs before he departed.
Usman Khawaja — remember him? — was dismissed for 6 and the rising star of Australian cricket, Will Pucovksi, was gone for 5. A bloke called Imran Khan ran through the best of the rest of Australia’s batting talent at Optus Stadium and you’d be forgiven for confusing him with the Pakistani prime minster of the same name.
We’re told South Australia captain Travis Head is on Langer and Hohns’ list for the Brisbane Test but surely that blue pen, after a few nervous clicks, was swapped out for a 2B pencil. Another lame dismissal against Pakistan on Tuesday brought back memories of how easily the Indians lured Head into hooking down the throat of any outfielder within cooee last summer.
As the heat has turned up with a week to go before the Test series, our top batsmen have wilted. Tim Paine is the captain and keeper, and the bowling stocks are overflowing. Meanwhile, our batsmen still struggle against any ball that moves more than an inch in the air.
While Pakistan saw out the new pink ball at Perth, waiting for it to go soft before calmly treating the Australia A bowling line-up like a bowling machine, the Aussies panicked.
Australia A or Australia F, Fox Sports asked this morning.
Even Labuschagne (can someone check that spelling?) joined in the misery on Tuesday. A day after Langer had said he was the coach’s prototypical Test batsman, the Queenslander scratched around for 28 scoreless balls before being dismissed by Peter Siddle at the MCG.
Matthew Wade seems a lock-in after scoring well for Tasmania against South Australia but the 22-yard piece of tarmac that is doubling for a strip at Adelaide won’t be what we see in Brisbane.
Mercies? They’re in short supply for the selectors. But perhaps Shaun Marsh’s dismissal for 43 against NSW at the SCG this morning was one of them. Jotting down the name “Marsh” has given Langer and co writer’s cramps over years.
An ad went out last month, asking for applications to fill the vacancy on the national selection panel created by Greg Chappell’s decision to retire.
Right now, who’d want the job?
Stats show why Dukes is Australia’s hazard for WTC Final
Australia’s preferred Kookaburra ball has been shunned in favour of the Dukes for June’s World Test Championship final and CricViz statistics show that is bad news for Aussie batters.
Secret conspirator in Lillee’s infamous bat throw finally exposed
Dennis Lillee has lifted the lid on the secret role a former teammate and Australian cricket legend played in his infamous Ashes aluminium bat throw.
“STEVE SMITH” was written down in large capital letters, probably underlined a couple of times to emphasis the point.