It was a big weekend for the swear jar. Tim Paine faced sanction for a relatively harmless spray at the umpire. Give the bloke a break. The SCG crowd was accused of racial abuse. Kick any and all deplorable culprits out for life. Andrew Symonds ran and hid in truly cowardly fashion after the most violent and disgusting comment ever made by one Australian cricket to another. His remarks were pathetic.
When Andrew McDonald presented Will Pucovski his Test cap at the SCG, he welcomed him to “the family” of past and present Australian cricketers. Some family when Symonds trots out that sort of filth for a laugh. Trying to sound tough, he proved himself weak.
Shane Warne’s remarks were as regrettable as the time someone – surely not Warne! – suggested Scott Muller could neither bowl nor throw. Symonds’s input was threatening, boneheaded and revolting.
As a B-grade Australian player, he had no respect for the media. You blokes must be hard up for a job! Now he’s joined the media, he has no respect for a hardworking, clean-skinned player like Labuschagne. A bit too “Richie Cunningham” for his liking?
Why has Symonds even joined the media brigade he so vehemently despised? Are you that hard up for a job?
“We‘ll have to give him the hog pile,“ Symonds said of Labuschagne after sneering a remark about pills he might be taking for attention deficit disorder. I take a hog pile to be a whole lot of people jumping on one person until their insides come outside. Symonds continued: “Mate, if you keep that shit up, we’re going to squash your guts out your arse.”
Who’s we? Just because Symonds is in the commentary box, does he put himself on the same rung as Warne as an ex-Australian player? Keep that up, Marnus, and me and Warne are coming to get you. Is that what he’s saying?
Warne has his faults, but he was a truly great cricketer and mostly he’s an excellent commentator when he ditches the toilet humour. Symonds is kidding himself by pairing himself with Warne. His bile at Labuschagne was for the exact same mannerisms that Steve Smith has. Why not threaten Smith, too? Not tough enough for that?
It’s the sort of oafish bullying mindset the dinosaurs in society cling to. If you don’t act like us, we’ll have to bash you. If you don’t talk and behave like us, we’ll have to sort you out, right? A hog-pile, eh. Labuschagne isn’t the one who’s acted like a pig. His efforts at the SCG were noble once more.
The shame was that Symonds’ BBL commentary had been quite good this season. A week earlier, I was enjoying it so much that I sent the host, Mark Howard, a message saying as much. Now, if Symonds is ever allowed back on air, I’ll be switching straight off. Life’s too short for that sort of miserable idiocy.
Labuschagne is slowly but surely putting himself on one of the top shelves of Australian cricket. Symonds has placed himself in the gutter.
Parallels have been drawn with the can’t bowl, can’t throw saga involving Muller. Please. This deeply personal diatribe makes the comment about Muller sound like a poetry reading. Symonds should be marvelling at Labuschagne’s professionalism, effort and individuality. Labuschagne’s contribution to Australian cricket, since he substituted for Steve Smith in the 2019 Ashes and stared down Jofra Archer, compares favourably to, say, the time Symonds was allegedly so drunk on the morning of a match for Australia that he fell over after trying to lean against a wheelie bin. The incensed captain, Ricky Ponting, told Symonds he was out of the match, which Australia lost in humiliating fashion to Bangladesh. “Right,” was his response, as Ponting recalled of his conversation with Symonds in his 2005 Ashes diary. “But he said it in such a casual ’see-if-I-care’ way that it wound me up even more,” Ponting wrote. “ ‘Don’t encourage me,’ I said. I was furious at a player being so disrespectful to himself, his teammates, his opponents and his country by turning up to play a game in that state, and I blurted out, ’He can go home then!’ to (Adam) Gilchrist before heading off to speak to (coach) John Buchanan. Buchanan’s suspicions had been raised when Symonds beat him to breakfast, wearing the same clothes as the night before. But rather than apologise to the coach at training, Symonds told him: ‘I’ve played when I’ve been like this before’.”
Symonds bagging Labuschagne in any way, shape or form, it would be funny if it wasn’t so disgusting.
Warne should have pulled up Symonds. Just as any mates of the racial abuser at the SCG should have pulled him up. The Symonds-Warne discussion prompted an apology from Kayo. What was Kayo apologising for? Kayo never said it.
Warne was on Fox Sports on Saturday, lavishing praise on Labuschagne. His tiresome remarks – “just f … ing bat properly” – had been regrettable, but fell well short of Symonds’ filth. It wasn’t meant to go to air, but that just made it more disturbing:
Symonds’s real attitude was laid bare. His cowardice really is boundless unless he tries to make amends. His first apology should be in person to Labuschagne. His second apology should be to his employers and the television audience, which included children. It shouldn’t be that hard for a bloke so allegedly tough. There’s a microphone right in front of him.
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