Twenty days of hearts on sleeves on AFL footy festival
The John Longmire-Alastair Clarkson verbals are just the beginning of the AFL being laid bare. The schedule is exhausting … and emotional.
John Longmire’s eyes grow big. His brows go up there, Cazaly. Wry grin. Incredulous headshake. Perhaps he will laugh it off. But then he turns white. Blood drains from his fulsome face. His hands cover his eyes. He’s speechless. Pissed off. Knackered. He shifts in his seat, breathes deeper than a winter southerly. Hands go in the air as if to say, what the heck? Frustration. Then defensiveness. The unspoken yet crystal-clear message: Shut up about my players.
Upon Longmire’s final shake of the head, and a forlorn/furious glare to the side of the room, he seems ready to shed a tear. It’s unusually emotional stuff for a post-game press conference, but there’s more where this has come from.
We’re into an AFL season that is so complicated and exhausting and draining and exhilarating and challenging that every emotion is going to be laid bare. We’re about to know coaches and players more intimately than ever. We’re about to see them in all their euphoria and despair and confusion and surliness and glee. We’ve seen it already in a season that has more one-off gigs and zigzagging travel than a Britney Spears tour. No one knows if they’re Arthur, Martha, what day it is, what city they’re in. Britney Spears once stepped on stage in Manchester and said, “What’s up, London!” Nathan Buckley may be similarly disoriented when his Magpies play three games in 10 days in three different states.
We’ve seen Longmire laid bare in his trembling response to Alastair Clarkson’s dig at Tom Papley, and we’ve seen it again in Clarkson’s painstaking explanation on AFL 360. The tit-for-tat chitchat … it’s good and powerful stuff, it’s hearts-on-sleeves stuff, and it’s only just begun.
Here we go with the Leyland Brothers rounds, travelling all over the countryside, 33 matches in 20 days, equivalent to four Ashes Tests going back-to-back-to-back-to-back. How good is that! Pump up the Sherrins. Get out the singlets and long-sleeved muscle shirts. There’s never been a schedule like it. My daughter has taken a shine to the AFL. She calls it, pick it up and kick it! Fair call. Cue up the Kayo. Fixate on the Fox Sports. It feels like Richmond has only just walked off Giants Stadium after receiving a spanking and a get-that-up-ya from Toby Greene but on Wednesday night they’re back on deck against the Western Bulldogs. Two Melbourne teams competing on the Gold Coast: Metricon Stadium is as foreign to them as the moon.
Pick it up and kick it. Four episodes in round eight have whet the appetite for what is to come. So much sport that even HG and Roy may exclaim, enough! First, Greene’s blinder against the Tigers. He’s rough as guts in some regards but as watchable as any athlete in Australia. If Dave Warner played the running game, he’d be Greene.
Second, Papley’s performance against the Hawks. That passage where he breaks free, bounces the ball once, then twice, swerves left like he’s on Mick Doohan’s old Yamaha, boots a goal and celebrates like a thigh-slapping jockey after a narrow win, that has been truly exhilarating.
Third, Liam Ryan’s goal, tears and post-match hugs with his family after the midweek death of his young nephew, Leslie, has been as emotional as anything you will see in sport this year. Fourth, the squabble between Longmire and Clarkson.
Steve Waugh always wanted to do the second press conference after a cricket Test. He wanted to know what the other mob had said. Going second, he could have the last word. Longmire keeps going second, too, and keeps being told of a dig from the other camp. He’s looked and sounded deeply wounded by Clarkson doing a Damien Hardwick and having a crack. They’re all under duress; all knackered ; all laid bare. Maybe press conferences should come in quarters. Clarkson can have his say, Longmire can have his, Clarkson can reply to the reply, Longmire can respond to the response.
Clarkson has accused Papley of “milking free kicks as good as anyone in the game” and said the umpires have been “an extra player” for the Swans. At the time, he’s come across as a sook — another losing coach. But then Clarkson’s segment on AFL 360 has been as compelling as Longmire’s post-match disquietude. The Hawks mentor himself has appeared sincere and a little wounded.
He has explained himself thus: “If you listen to my press conference, it’s pretty measued. I spoke about swings and roundabouts in terms of free kicks … I didn’t think I was being in any way disrespectful to the umpires, nor Tom Papley. If anything, I’d choose my words differently … I just got caught up in how quick it was after the game. You know, because we had to get on a plane to Perth, we’d just lost a close game, we’re under the pump a little bit — not a little bit, a lot — we had a press conference 10 minutes after the game, we’re disappointed, we tried hard …”
His eyes have spun faster than the season itself. No time to dwell on drama. What to do with disappointment? Pick it up and kick it. Get to the next city. What’s up, London.
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