Swans bridge the Giants chasm in a Sydney derby like no other

GWS Giants recorded their lowest ever score to be shocked by the Sydney Swans in a performance their captain, Stephen Coniglio, called hopeless.

Tom Papley of the Swans gets his kick away while being tackled by Aidan Corr of the Giants at Optus Stadium. Picture: Getty Images

A real Sydney derby would have Lance Franklin in it. A real Sydney derby would have Toby Greene in it. Heck and hallelujah, a real Sydney derby would probably benefit from having Sydney in it – but there they were, the Giants and the Swans, about as far from home as you could get without using one of Elon Musk’s rockets for transport.

Perth might as well have been on a different planet, a brightly lit one called Optus Stadium.

Despite the best players being out injured on Thursday night, and despite the lack of hometown fans, and despite the Swans supposedly falling off the cliff as a premiership force, it still had everything needed to make it a derby of some description.

Watch Footy LIVE & On-Demand Every Day from July 29 - August 17 with Kayo. New to Kayo? Get your 14-day free trial & start streaming instantly >

It had players in Giants jerseys, and it had players in Swans jerseys. Which meant it should have had enough animosity and competitiveness to get the blood pumping.

But the Giants flopped. Miserably. The 17th-placed Swans played like they were in the eight, and the eighth-placed Giants played like they were 17th, as Sydney delivered a 10.6 (66) to 3.7 (25) upset.

“Hopeless, really,” was Giants captain Stephen Coniglio’s assessment. The Swans had the next best thing to Greene, someone perhaps every bit as good as Greene, in Tom Papley.

He was everywhere (but not in Sydney) from the outset, doing the groundwork for an early James Rowbottom goal that reminded the Giants this would be no easy fixture. They failed to take the hint, finishing with the equal lowest score in their club’s history.

Two goals to the Swans’ Jordan Dawson, one of them coming from a selfless hand-off from first-gamer Zac Foot, who surrendered a set shot from 45m, gave the Swans a stunning 19-1 lead at quarter time. If there was a need for one of Musk’s rockets, it was for Giants coach Leon Cameron to stick it up his listless team. If they thought the Battle of the Bridge was going to be a walk in the park, they had three quarters to get cracking.

Papley was dynamite. Forget his rather unremarkable stats.

He had his fingerprints and boot marks all over this. He had a wry grin, as if he knew he had them covered. All the desperation and danger and inventiveness was coming from the team unlikely to figure in the finals.

The Giants had more to play for and gave virtually nothing.

The Swans led 32-9 at halftime, when Coniglio told Fox Sports: “Hopeless, really. We need to find the answer. It’s not good enough.”

They needed the answer to be a four-goal turnaround. There was long enough to go if they were good enough to go.

Answers were not forthcoming. Foot kicked a third-term goal … the Swans player named Foot, not the anatomical structure … and a long way from familiar surroundings, in the first Sydney derby held outside NSW, the Swans were home and hosed.