AFL grand final: Isaac Heeney salutes teammate that ‘everyone sort of hates’

Isaac Heeney and Tom Papley are the Sydney Swans’ perfect combination of untouchable hotshot and incorrigible attack dog.

Tom Papley, Callum Mills and Isaac Heeney at Swans open training session on Sunday

I watched the Sydney Swans’ preliminary final triumph alongside a Port Adelaide supporter.

Tom Papley took his John Dyson-scale mark, banana-kicked the goal, tormented Willie Rioli, started a riot. There went the neighbourhood.

My straight-talking, trucker-mouthed mate became tight around the gullet and growled, “I f..king hate that bloke.”

In the second quarter, Isaac Heeney produced a rather understated moment of magic. If Papley is the Swans’ dark knight – you only hate him if he’s not on your side – Heeney is the cherubic blond bombshell, the good cop to Papley’s bad cop, the saint to Papley’s sinner, the magician to the mongrel.

Heeney pointed to where he wanted the ball kicked, purred into position, grabbed it with the consummate ease of Mark Waugh at second slip and kicked the goal. He did nothing more hysterical than flexing a bicep.

The Port supporter just shrugged and said. “What can you do? He’s too good, that bloke.”

Papley and Heeney are gifts to the Swans and the AFL. Their worth to the Bloods is self-evident. Their value to the premiership itself and Saturday arvo’s grand final at the murderous MCG is limitless.

Every code needs a Heeney. A superstar player with a super reputation. A handsome, wholesome young fella who scrubs up well enough to star in Home and Away if he sought another leading role. But it needs a Papley just as much.

Isaac Heeney during the Swans’s dominant victory over Port Adelaide on Friday Picture: Phil Hillyard

If you cheer, cheer, the red and the white, you’re ballistic with glee when he carries on like a pork chop. Because he’s your pork chop. If you support the Brisbane Lions, you’ll want to throttle him when he’s pumping his fists and getting in opposition faces and being a general pest. Because he’s not your pest. You know he knows he can get under your skin. He knows you know, which you know, and, most infuriatingly of all, you know he’s right.

That wild aggravation you feel towards Papley? The sense that you f..king hate the bloke? If you take a breath and consider the big picture, appreciate the fact his pantomime villainy is one of the many beauties of all forms of entertainment and theatre, including sport.

“On the footy field, I’m sure he’s probably, externally, one of those players everyone sort of hates,” Heeney said on Sunday.

Sort of?

Continue.

“Internally, we absolutely love him,” Heeney grinned. “You look at that physicality and he gets under people’s skins and every time there’s a scuffle, if you zoom back a bit, I’m around it, laughing and thinking, ‘This is awesome’. I love it when Paps gets us up and about. He’s someone that is so invested in this footy club and himself. You see the impact he has … which not many people can do.”

Papley is a bit of a softie when he’s not simmering with white-line fever. “He does show amazing emotion around the club,” Heeney said.

“His vulnerability allows others to open up as well. Which is why we’ve become such a close-knit group.”

A belter of a grand final is approaching. Excitement machine of a club versus excitement machine of a club. The decider will be played on Broadway and yet neither team is from New York.

The Melbourne Cricket Ground hosts no Melbourne side, but who cares? One of the great days on the calendar is on its way. And two great franchises are involved.

Unlike the NRL, which caves to the TV broadcaster and plays its grand final at the patently ridiculously time of 7.30pm on a Sunday, the AFL gives the people what they want. First bounce at 2.30pm on Saturday.

Sydney's Tom Papley and Port Adelaide's Junior Rioli come together after the Swan kicked a goal on Friday Picture: Phil Hillyard

We get to fire up the barbie, or have a long lunch, and watch the game with the kids, then indulge in a full and frank debrief for hours and hours at full-time. It’s a full-day, all-encompassing occasion.

The NRL decider is something to take a squiz at after dinner.

Heeney is growing accustomed to being the Swans’ poster boy. On becoming a more recognisable figure around town, the blond bombshell said: “It’s definitely grown the last year. Sydney has jumped behind us, which is awesome.

“The back end of this year has been incredible but you can still escape it up here. You only have it in your face if you go looking for it. It’s pretty easy to avoid.”

Born and bred in Newcastle, Heeney added: “The feedback I’ve received over the years has been extremely nice but at the same time, I’m a country lad so I do love getting away from things and enjoying my time. It can be a little bit painful when you’re trying to have a coffee or breakfast with loved ones and people are constantly bugging you – but it’s nothing like Melbourne. I’m not sure what it would be like living down there.”

Heeney and Papley. Good cop, bad cop; saint, sinner; magician, mongrel. Their every touch gets the heart pumping. A perfect combination of untouchable hotshot and incorrigible attack dog. When they were putting Port to the sword, the SCG’s Bradman Stand kept going up like The Don had scored another double ton against the Poms. If they repeat the dose on Saturday, Swans supporters in the Shane Warne Stand will go up like Mike Gatting has been bowled by the ball of the century again.

A first flag is at Heeney’s feet. “I feel like I’ve put the work in,” he said. “I’ve got the confidence from the coaching group and the boys to do what I do.”

What do you do? “The freedom that ‘Horse’ (coach John Longmire) has given me to just play off instinct,” he said. “My base is there in terms of fitness. I feel like I’m someone who always puts his head over the ball and cracks in each week. Horse goes, ‘Just play your game. Just play off instinct’.”

The Swans were belted by Geelong by 81 points in the 2022 grand final. The Lions were pipped by Collingwood by four points last year. Frank Sinatra once said: “The best revenge is massive success.” The Swans or Lions are about to deliver it; the other is about to feel cursed.

“Could be a grandstand finish,” Heeney said. “Hopefully, it is. We’re a more mature squad (than two years ago) that is burning inside to get it done. Brizzy’s the same, coming off the back of last year. Two teams that have been there in recent years but haven’t won. It’s gonna be on.”