Wong turn

PENNY "Whispering" Wong kicked off her water tour in St George yesterday, scoring a welcoming press release from the Queensland town's best known resident, Barnaby Joyce.

PENNY "Whispering" Wong kicked off her water tour in St George yesterday, scoring a welcoming press release from the Queensland town's best known resident, Barnaby Joyce.

However, Joyce did have some reservations amid the cheer, noting "it is slightly peculiar in the manner she has gone about it. It seems to have been a big secret . . . Even the St George mayor [Donna Stewart] apparently didn't know about it until just before Senator Wong arrived, which was a little bit rude . . . I'm sorry I wasn't there today, but I will have to be honest, I didn't even get an invite. It is a little bit hard to miss you, though, Minister Wong, in a town of 2500 people." Not that Joyce was unrepresented; both the questions asked of Wong at the end of her press conference came from one of Joyce's staff, much to the amusement of Wong's crew ("Definitely a unique approach," they told Strewth) and the gobsmackment of the local journo. Happily, one of the questions referred to the Productivity Commission report, so it appears that, contrary to rumours, Joyce doesn't value its pages only for their soft and absorbent quality.

Squall building

KEVIN Rudd will today visit the NSW Central Coast seat of Robertson for the first time since the 2007 election campaign (how time flies), where he'll be in the company of recently deselected local member Belinda Neal, whom he once sent to anger management classes, and the woman who ousted her, Deborah O'Neill. In the meantime, Neal has tweeted a short message that could sound friendly or menacing, depending on one's frame of mind: "@KevinRuddPM See you on the coast."

Banging on

IS Foreign Minister Stephen Smith running from the beat of a different drum? The Nine Network's transcription team seems to think so, delivering this interpretation of a Laurie Oakes question about how people qualify for refugee status: "Just to try and pin this down: it's only about a well-founded fear of percussion . . ." Having once lived near a drummer, we understand where they're coming from.

Tiger doesn't bite

FORMER Queensland premier Peter Beattie -- who these days slogs away as the state's trade commissioner to the Americas -- has been working hard to convince Tiger Woods to play a round at the Reef Palms Golf and Leisure Complex in Zilzie Bay. The nation's former media-strumpet-in-chief asked Woods at the request of developer Chris Dadson, who has been promoting the world's first synthetic course. Sadly, Woods's manager advised that "while Tiger is flattered by the invitation, this is not a commitment he can make at this time". Seriously, Woods is flattered that easily? We think we may have just stumbled on the root of his troubles.

Human billboard

TONY Abbott may be winning admirers on his 1000km Pollie Pedal odyssey, but one of Strewth's sporting observation corps is aghast at the Opposition Leader's choice of branded Lycra. Observes our observer, "What's he doing plugging the upcoming Tour of California, which is going to be shown live on SBS for the first time next month? Is it a free plug for the broadcaster? If I see Abbott wearing the TOC's sponsor's gear Amgen again, I'm going to vomit. It's also very unAustralian for the potential PM-in-waiting to be plugging the Yanks' biggest road race, which will feature the likes of Lance Armstrong." Perhaps Abbott is just trying to make friends with Mike Rann.

Higher duties

SPEAKING of whom, although Rann insists to all and sundry that he will serve out his full four-year term after being re-elected South Australian Premier last month, the Americans have far greater aspirations for him. US-based website TopNews refers to him as "Prime Minister Mike Rann" in its report on the easing of water restrictions in the state. Has a certain ring to it, perhaps?

Running scared

THE Queensland election may still be two years away but the nerves of some Labor MPs are already showing worrying signs of fraying. Parliamentary Secretary for Education Carolyn Male has resigned from the important post to focus on her electorate of Pine Rivers, just north of Brisbane. Male, who went to all the effort of jumping seats at the previous election to stay in parliament, blamed unexplained fatigue and said her doctor had suggested she cut down on travel. Her decision comes after first-term Townsville MP Mandy Johnstone recently quit as deputy speaker to also focus on her electorate.

Creature discomfort

IF we may for a moment paraphrase Douglas Adams, it can be said Strewth is not above puns the way the sea is not above the clouds. Accidental puns are even better, so we salute Yahoo!7 for its story about an Englishman pleading guilty in court to, er -- how shall we phrase it in a family publication -- improperly mounting a horse and a donkey. Even with the details fairly veiled in its few short paragraphs, it was an isotope of sordidness. And so it would have remained if not for the magic, single quote it contained from the animal lover's solicitor: "The defendant does not have a stable address . . ."