Virgin territory

IT is the year 2010. The world is still reeling from the global financial crisis.

IT is the year 2010. The world is still reeling from the global financial crisis.

Certain Indian scientists are telling us the Himalayas are about to melt. Australia is again grappling with the vexed issue of how to handle the flow of asylum-seekers. So it stands to reason that the only thing our pollies want to talk about this week is virginity. Of course, Tony Abbott gets the credit for kick-starting the Great V-Plates Debate, with his off-the-cuff remark that young women should treat their virginity as a "gift" that should not be given away lightly. Since then, Kevin Rudd, George Brandis and Julia Gillard have all had their say, with the deputy PM saying Australian women did not want Abbott imposing his views on them. But just as the GVPD appeared to be running out of steam, Julie Bishop yesterday emerged from nowhere to remind us that our PM once visited a strip club and was once in the same room as a burlesque dancer. "Where was Julia Gillard's outrage when Kevin Rudd on a taxpayer-funded trip to New York visited a strip club or recently when the Labor Party hired a stripper for a function (Bob Hawke's 80th birthday) at which the Prime Minister was present." Did somebody say "wild tangent"?

A word to the wise

A COUPLE of weeks ago, federal Labor backbencher Damian Hale penned a piece for The Northern Territory News in which he bemoaned the surge in violent, alcohol-fuelled incidents across the country. "Like most Australians, I have always enjoyed a beer, have enjoyed a night out as much as the next person and, yes, there have been times when I have had more than I should have. However, what we are witnessing in Australia goes far beyond what is acceptable; it is not the Australian way and certainly not in the Australian spirit of the 'Aussie Larrikin'." But just days after airing his concern that we are a nation of aggressive drunks, Hale was apparently involved in an ugly incident at a Top End nightclub. Local footballer Matt Cannard told The NT News that the member for Solomon approached him in the appropriately named nightspot The Arch Rival and began making personal insults. "He had a few too many beers and was saying stuff he shouldn't. He should be careful about doing that because if he says that sort of stuff to the wrong person, then he could find a knife pulled on him." Yesterday, Hale released a three-sentence statement, admitting he was "involved in an exchange" and confirming that he had apologised to Cannard. Strewth looks forward to his next thoughtful essay on the drinking habits of Australians.

iPad-dy whacked

WHILE many consider the iPad itself to be a giant technological step forward, the response to the product's name wasn't so positive. Bloggers, tweeters, Facebookers and the guy who sat next to Strewth on the bus yesterday all agreed that the name would struggle to shed its unfortunate sanitary napkin connotations. "But does it have wings," tweeted one user. "They decided to call it the iPad? Was iTampon taken?," Another queried how many women were involved in the iPad naming process. "Did none of them say: 'erm . . '." In fact, we reckon the iPad moniker is so bad that it wouldn't surprise if the product was renamed, just as Kraft did last year when it decided that iSnack 2.0 was not such a good title for its new Vegemite product.

Land tax grab

IT'S tough being in opposition. Especially so if you're a member of the South Australian Liberal Party, which has a longstanding penchant for shooting itself in both feet. Yesterday, deputy leader of the opposition Steven Griffiths issued a press release in which he accused the state's Labor government, and more specifically Treasurer Kevin Foley, of directly lifting the Liberals' land tax policy, which was launched last October. But in accusing the Rann government of policy theft, the headline on the Liberal media release - "Foley's Election Bribe" - seemed to suggest that its own land tax reform may have simply been a transparent attempt to buy votes at the coming election. Now there's an idea worth stealing: do anything and say anything to stay in power.

Date with destiny

PALINDROME lovers from Glenelg to Tumut to Paraparap will be beside themselves next Monday. February 1, 2010 - 01-02-2010 when written in its full date format - is a palindrome date. According to Aziz Inan, a professor of electrical engineering at University of Portland, Oregon, there will be 29 palindrome dates this century, and Monday's will be the third since 2001. Prior to February 10, 2001, the previous palindrome date occurred more than 800 years before on November 29, 1192 (29-11-1192). Although Strewth prides itself on its fastidious fact checking, we are happy to take Inan's word on this one.

Spelling B minus

SOME spelling mistakes are more unfortunate than others. Former US vice-president Dan Quayle, for example, never quite recovered after telling a classroom of 12-year-old kids that "potato" was spelt "potatoe". Similarly, in the first edition of The Sydney Morning Herald yesterday, the newspaper ran a graphic on the My School website, which, among other things, highlights schools with underperforming English departments - under the sub-heading "Grammer & Punctuation". League tables for newspapers, anyone?