Too much monk business

AT Tony Abbott's and the Dalai Lama's press conference yesterday, the latter was asked what he thought of the opposition's stance on climate change.

THERE was the inevitable moment at Tony Abbott's and the Dalai Lama's press conference in Sydney yesterday when the latter was asked what he thought of the federal opposition's stance on climate change.

The general jollity of the proceedings gave way to a moment of tension as the Dalai Lama pondered the question. "I admire democracy, I admire freedom of expression," he said at last, adding that the members of the opposition had expressed themselves and he welcomed it. "Thank you, your holiness. Well handled," said a visibly relieved Abbott. With much giggling and patting of Abbott's hand, the Dalai Lama expressed how happy he was to meet the most famous Speedo-wearer in the land (not in those exact words), and Abbott said he hoped all who met him would be equally happy. Pleasingly, Abbott sought guidance from the Buddhist leader on how to maintain inner peace in his busy life, and how to approach things with truth and compassion. Asked one hack: "Does that mean you'll be compassionate to gay marriage and abortion?" "Fair question," said Tone, before emphasising that whatever the differences, he respected his fellow Australians. Abbott even relaxed enough to do some cutting-edge comedy: "We're happy to continue to accept refugees from Tibet, but I did encourage [the Dalai Lama] to suggest they not come by leaky boat."

Rudd not budging, smugly

IN news from the Department of Smalls Mercy, Kevin Rudd has put to rest the nation's fears that he might take on Abbott by slipping into a pair of Speedos. When asked about the new Opposition Leader's nowhere-near-modest-enough swimwear, the PM offered these thoughts: "If there was a referendum tomorrow between budgie-smugglers and boardies I think I'd be voting for boardies. I think all of you would be, too. I think there are certain things the Australian people should be protected from. One of those things is national political leaders so attired. What is it about the Libs and swimming gear? It seems to be a bit of a pattern there."

Spin botcher

IT'S very thoughtful of the federal Libs and NSW Labor to treat their leadership kerfuffles like grand finals of rival football codes, ensuring they don't clash. After all, the standard of the biff on Macquarie Street has been so spectacular, it would have been a waste of some magnitude if it had happened in the shadow of the federal kerfuffle -- a bit like when Aldous Huxley died the same day as JFK. Who knows, we could have missed the startling insight from PR man Tim Allerton during his slot on the Spin Doctors segment on ABC702 Sydney, where he alluded to the shifting of "teutonic plates" within the ALP. We had no idea German crockery could be so problematic. Meanwhile, as former premier Nathan Rees was fighting for his political survival, his Primary Industries Minister Tony Kelly demonstrated an impeccable sense of timing, putting out a press release headed "Time's up for Sydney's most unwelcome pest". It turned out he was actually referring to the impending fumigation of a colony of West Indian drywood termites, but still.

Bligh's snake pit

QUEENSLAND Premier Anna Bligh yesterday encountered not just the reptiles of the press but the reptiles and the press when a western brown snake -- one of the world's most venomous -- interrupted her press conference yesterday at Marburg, west of Brisbane. The serpent slithered its way in front of the Premier (who set a good example by keeping a cool head) before disappearing into a drain, a place the Premier would probably want the press to disappear to from time to time. Bligh immediately tweeted the incident. It must have made her other appointment for the day, the funeral of George Kyprios, aka Rock 'n' roll George, seem pretty tame. The late rocker had been observed by generations of Brisbaneites as he cruised around the city in an FX Holden with a foxtail and numberplates saying "Rock 'n' Roll". If nothing else, Bligh may at least have cornered the green stovepipe jeans vote, a look George exemplified.

Redmond, the trash talker

IT was the last day of parliament in South Australia before the March state election, so why not go out on a high note? After chaotic scenes during the last sitting period when the Speaker suspended parliament, then threatened to resign, MPs were more willing to laugh off the insults yesterday. Opposition Leader Isobel Redmond, who has banned swearing in partyroom meetings, let fly across the chamber at Treasurer Kevin Foley, accusing him of being "full of crap". The Treasurer, full of mock outrage, extracted a withdrawal from Redmond, who happily used "rubbish" instead of "crap" to describe Foley.

Paper Tiger

THANKS to the Strewth reader who sent in a photo of an ad at Melbourne airport showing Tiger Woods, golf club in hand and staring into a rushing stream, and the message, "It's what you do next that counts."

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