Tony Abbott’s Kitchener cabinet in Warringah

Tony Abbott is looking for war volunteers in his fight to hold Warringah.

Here we are stuck in the middle with you. Picture: Twitter

All that’s missing from Tony Abbott’s Battlelines website is a Lord Kitchener-style portrait of the member for Warringah and the message “Join your Tony’s army!” But, like Kitchener back in the day, Abbott is looking for war volunteers. “Politics is a noble calling that is all about improving people’s lives,” says the website of the man who did just that seeking to raise the bog standard at a surf club in his electorate. “And running smart, effective political campaigns is absolutely essential in achieving those lofty aims.” Abbott was standing on a median strip on a busy road in his electorate yesterday with little more than faith in the driving public and the well-nourished bulk of a labrador to protect him. A spokesman for Camp Abbott told Strewth: “Given the success of sign-ups to Battlelines over the past month, the Warringah campaign has decided to take expressions of interest from keen volunteers looking to hone their political campaign skills while supporting Tony Abbott’s re-election. Those who win a place will spend their time embedded in the campaign, learning from best-practice political campaign techniques while complementing the efforts of volunteers from the local area. While details are still being finalised, the Liberal Party is founded on volunteerism and the program will operate in a manner similar to other campaign exchanges run by all political parties.” A no-dough zone. The spokesman said there’d been “significant interest”. Think of it as the Zali Steggall stimulus.

To ‘r’ is human

Having moved on from the competing ideas of resignation and retirement, Scott Morrison was on to another “r” word yesterday, parking “recession” in the vicinity of “Labor” and then walking away with an innocent whistle. Shadow treasurer Chris Bowen in turn used words such as “shrill”, “ridiculous” and “frankly bordering on the unhinged”. Alas, not even the vision of Energy and Environment ministers Angus Taylor and Melissa Price inadvertently but effectively campaigning for Labor can cheer Bowen at this stage of the game.

It goes without saying

When Justin Milne gave himself the arse as ABC chairman, there was a general expectation it would also bring to an end mentions of his pet project, Jetstream (“A plan to build a giant digital database to house all ABC content,” as our old mucker Stephen Brook explained). This appears to have been confirmed in a Senate estimates encounter in which senator Tim Storer found himself obliged to channel the movie Fight Club.

Storer: “What is the status of Jetstream?”

ABC acting managing director David Anderson: “We don’t talk about Jetstream.”

Storer: “Is that the first rule of Jetstream, we don’t talk about Jetstream?”

Meanwhile, Cory Bernardi’s footsoldiers will be flying the Australian Conservatives flag this morning outside ABC’s Sydney HQ. While some are more of the second-mouse-gets-the-cheese school of thought, the Oz Cons are more early-bird-gets-the-worm: “We will be distributing flyers and talking with the public from 7am with speeches from our candidates from 8am.”

Labor of love

As we continue our mourning period over Christopher Pyne, let us turn to when Bob Hawke launched Karen Middleton’s biography of Anthony Albanese. Eventually Hawkie made it to the topic of Albo’s “interesting relationship” with the member for Sturt. With the merry twinkle in his eye brightening a few watts, he said, “Christopher Pyne is quoted as saying: ‘He’s the only friend I’ve got in the Labor Party.’ ” At which a hearty “Hear, hear!” rolled across the room from the vicinity of Tony Burke.

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