Thor point

IN between issuing warnings about Syria and preparing to represent the federal government in France at the Villers-Bretonneux Anzac Day Dawn Service, Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd has revealed on Twitter he's tossing up (figuratively speaking) whether to see the new flick Thor.

Here's the film's synopsis on the International Movie Database: "The powerful but arrogant warrior Thor is cast out of the fantastic realm of Asgard and sent to live amongst humans on Earth, where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders." Anyone for metaphor?

Fail Verity

LIKE a battlefield haunted by signs of trauma long after the violence has passed, the inner-Sydney seat of Balmain is still festooned with the bright orange corflutes of former NSW education minister Verity Firth nearly a full month after the state election. The Liberals have pulled down theirs, as have the victorious Greens, but Firth's smiling, hopeful face is still hanging on poles with misplaced jauntiness like the standards of a vanquished army. Perhaps leaving them in place is just a way of honouring the plaintive plea of a slogan on them: "Keep Verity".

Wedding vowels

ONE thing Verity Firth's fate did remind us of in a singular fashion before she vanished into the wide Green yonder was the importance of putting I before E (except after C, of course, but that rather dilutes this gratuitous ecstasy gag). Alas, it's a message yet to be latched on to by the good folk in charge of typing out the invitation roll for Kate Middleton and Prince William's big nuptial do, who have listed, "The Prime Minister of Australia and Mr Tim Matheison". Still, we suspect Tim Mathieson won't mind overly.

Slaughter house

IN Australia, we have speaker Harry Jenkins to do the job of driving bad spirits out of the House of Representatives, a task he acquits with exasperation, bearded melodrama and the odd dash of drollery. In Kyrgyzstan, where they lack the services of Dirty Harry, parliamentarians have had to resort to sacrificing sheep to get the job done. Parliamentary spokesman Shairbek Mamatoktorov informed the Associated Press the meat from the seven woolly unfortunates would be sent to homes for the elderly and the disabled. Perhaps we could lend them Dirty Harry next time in order to avoid another ovine massacre. While he might find the job of bad spirit eradication a bit more challenging than sending Christopher Pyne away for an extended cuppa, Kyrgyzstan's fragile government may ring a few bells for him.

Katter swamped

THE Bob Katter Neology Laboratory has been hard at work during the crafting of a press release concerning the crocodilian-related closure of a North Queensland swimming hole. See if you can guess how Katter feels about the reptiles: "I myself have on a number of occasions swum with my children at Lake Placid, the latest in a string of once-sacred swimming holes that humans have been forced to forgo to 'croc-roaches' because of antiquated government policies that the current 'greenwashed' government bureaucrats gleefully take to the extreme."

Fischer's Italian job

ONCE upon a time, we fell into conversation with former deputy prime minister and eternal rolling stock enthusiast Tim Fischer about trains, Bhutan and happiness. As we spoke, time blurred and we may have become hypnotised, leaving us with no option but to do his occasional bidding. In this spirit, we present a message from His Tim-inence in his capacity as ambassador to Rome and the Holy See: "Many Australians are expected to arrive in Rome in late April 2011, all care should be taken with valuables. As Rome weather warms up, already the crowds are huge around key congestion points such as the Trevi Fountain, Termini and St Peter's Square. People should be careful and also always follow the DFAT Smart Traveller for updates, remember ticketing to Vatican St Peters functions (including papal audiences) are free and obtainable through the Vatican website, so avoid scalpers." Got it? Good.

The Elle word

ONCE upon a time, Elle Macpherson alluded to the possibility she only read stuff penned by her own tanned hand. Society responded in its usual mature and reasoned way and mocked her roundly. And yet, Macca (if we may be so familiar) may have been on to something. Here's A. A. Gill, who'll be gracing our shores soon for the Sydney Writers Festival, writing in The Spectator about the eternal freshness of his own words: "I'm promoting a book at the moment. The interviewers always fling quotes at me. They are invariably cliched and crass and I never remember having written them. But Ben Schott of the magisterial Miscellany asked if he could quote something I'd written, which I also had no memory of, but I did think is actually quite clever." Which may be just how Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard react to Lindsay Tanner's new book. Sideshow.

James Jeffrey

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