Talk is cheap

IT can't be very nice having allegations about your attempts at collecting fat commissions splashed over the front page of The Australian.

IT can't be very nice having allegations about your attempts at collecting fat commissions splashed over the front page of The Australian.

So it was no surprise to hear Michael Johnson, the federal Liberal member for Ryan, fighting back, loud and clear on Brisbane morning radio yesterday. He told ABC Radio's Madonna King that he was "more than happy" to talk to anyone about trying to broker a multi-million-dollar resources deal and seek a commission. But the comment certainly surprised The Australian's Sarah Elks, who says Johnson was "not at all happy when, less than two hours earlier, I had knocked on the door of his Brisbane home. I introduced myself, explained who I worked for, and asked him to respond to Sean Parnell's exclusive story on the front page of this morning's The Australian. Johnson was clear. 'I'm not making any comment . . . yeah'. He then shut the door in my face." Elks almost fell off her chair when she heard Johnson on the radio telling King "I'm more than happy to speak to anybody about it. I wouldn't be speaking to you if I felt I had anything to hide." Parnell, author of today's feature, above, was also surprised. He tried repeatedly to contact Johnson on Tuesday, calling him several times for a comment. The MP did not respond.

Advice from Bob

SHAGGY-HAIRED Irish pop singer Bob Geldof has followed a veritable conga-line of visitors who say something silly as soon an they lob on to our glittering shores. Speaking at a Brisbane business breakfast yesterday, the honorary knight told industry leaders to train Aboriginal people to fill labour and skills shortages. "You've removed from your society, from having a go, 500,000 of your own. That is economically stupid." Geldof said Aborigines should be given a chance, like the thousands of Irish who migrated to Australia. "I don't know how you become at one with yourself if you exile [part] of a nation."

Writers unhitched

THE Sydney Writers Festival is usually an occasion for bacchanalia and gossip. But when Strewth wandered down hoping to bump into the redoubtable English verbal pugilist Christopher Hitchens, hopefully drink in hand and eager to monster the locals, we were disappointed. The usually combative Bob Ellis was there, but looking strangely mellow. It can't have been the wine because, to our palate, it wasn't too flash. But there were showbags containing tea and packs of Persian fairy floss, just the thing for writer's block. Famed author of Damned Whores and God's Police, Anne Summers, wore her name tag upside down, which could be a take on the maritime tradition of flying a flag upside down when in distress.

Not his strong suit

ADRIAN Piccoli, the shadow leader of the legislative assembly in the NSW parliament, has been constantly taunted by Premier Kristina Keneally in question time for his brown suits. When she started yesterday, he took a point of order in which he said, "I object to being constantly sexualised by the Premier". There was too much hilarity, given the feebleness of the objection. The speaker Richard Torbay called it the worst point of order he'd heard in three years. Why doesn't Piccoli simply get a navy blue suit? Or make cutting sexist comments about Keneally's wardrobe and hairstyle?

Profit is queen

AT first glance, it looked as if the business weekly BRW had got its cover mixed up with Cleo's. "Why businessmen need women", BRW asks this week. It's not what Strewth's twisted imagination first thought. It's just another gender imbalance story that bags Australian companies for not having enough women on their boards (do women actually want the grief that goes with boardrooms?). It reveals that women would bring greater diversity to decision making, which in turn improves profits. Yes, it's that easy.

Snake v dachshund

NO doubt relishing The Sunday Territorian's eye-catching headline "Snake kills three kids" last week (Strewth, 10/5; they were baby goats), the NT News has sunk its fangs into the subject by reporting that a part of the territory is "swarming with deadly snakes". Perhaps it's the recent drought of croc attacks. Anyhow, Melissa Purich found her dachshund Tinsel in a bad way after a fight with a western brown. The snake had been mutilated by the plucky Tinsel who was rushed to the vet and dosed with three antivenene shots. Purich's mother, Noel Padgham, is the goat-breeder who lost her kids to a python. That makes two snakes, which constitutes a swarm in anyone's language. Tinsel made a miraculous recovery. "Tinsel has proven that for such a little dog she has a lot of fight in her, whether it be fighting snakes or fighting off the competition in the show ring."

British wit-ish

THE first official poet for the Wimbledon tennis championship has been appointed. He is Matt Harvey, who writes of this year's Australian Open losing finalist Andy Murray: "If ever he's brutish / Or brattish or skittish / He's Scottish / But if he looks fittish / Or his form is hottish / He's British." Is that a poem?