Take a bow

YESTERDAY'S big debate topic was of course Julia Gillard's non-curtsey to the Queen.

YESTERDAY'S big debate topic was of course Julia Gillard's non-curtsey to the Queen; yet another moment we realised how wrong we used to be when imagining what the 21st century would be like.

ABC News 24 got to the essence of things with Frank Thorne, a freelance scribe writing for The Evening Standard, who observed of the PM's apparently non-protocol-breaking greeting, "It's a good story for us tabloid hacks who don't want to just write about the colour of the tulips at Floriade." Which, if nothing else, gives a sense of the quiet horror of royal reporting. No storm was triggered by Tony Abbott, who informed broadcaster Steve Vizard: "Well, I gave the Queen a little head nod, analogous to the head nod you give the Speaker of the Parliament when you are entering or exiting the chamber and it seemed to me like the natural thing to do."

Dress circle

AS the barge conveying Queen Elizabeth II approached Floriade in Canberra, we found ourselves hoping for a repeat of that moment in Orlando where Elizabeth I (as channelled by Quentin Crisp) steps off the royal barge to be greeted by Orlando's father, who informs her, "All that is mine is here for your pleasure." To which Elizabeth replies archly, "All you call yours is mine already." No such excitement, alas, and we were left with the big issue: was the colour of the Queen's frock best described as lilac, as one school of thought had it, or as lavender? Happily, one woman shadowing the Queen was dressed almost identically; the royal stunt double, we hope.

On the record

SO here it is: the first day of the post-Rann era in South Australia. If it were an ideal world, the freshly liberated Mike Rann would have woken some time this morning in the fork of a tree clad in little more than underpants and stray bunting, an empty champagne bottle clutched in his hand and a smile chiselled upon his face. [Define "ideal world" -- Ed.] In the meantime, let's jump back to yesterday and a moment from the South Australian Parliament starring Correctional Services Minister (and motoring enthusiast) Tom Koutsantonis: "I apologise to the house. I want to quote from a paper of record, a paper of note, The Australian. The shadow minister says we are the highest taxed state in the nation. According to The Australian, the leader of public national debate, they say-- [cue some vigorous interjecting, for some reason] -- . . . The national average for a tax take for a state is $2769 per capita; in South Australia it is $2477, according to The Australian. In my time in this house I have never known The Australian to be wrong." And that's from a Labor government minister. Walloper Minister Kevin Foley, who sadly was also having his last day in parliament, chipped in: "I would just ask that members opposite show some respect and tone it down a little bit. My dad [in the gallery] has got a hearing aid in; just turn it down a little bit -- but you are a little bit over the top." And now Big Kev's gone. "The stars are not wanted now: put out every one/ Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun." And so forth.

Cops on the racks

ANNOUNCEMENT of the day, as conveyed by wire service AAP: "Queensland's prostitution taskforce will be on the hunt for women exposing their breasts at balcony parties during the Gold Coast 600 motorsport carnival this weekend. Gold Coast district superintendent Paul Ziebarth says the Prostitution Enforcement Taskforce will help local police crack down on the unsavoury but popular motorsporting pastime." Unquote.

PR triumph

ONE event we regret missing this week is Jenny Macklin's launch of the federal government's Indigenous Economic Development Strategy, an event held at that pinnacle of economic development, Sydney's Westin hotel, and hosted by the Mineral Council of Australia. MCA chief executive Mitch Hooke kicked off proceedings with some not entirely top-shelf jokes about AFL teams, and he was followed by his president, Peter Johnston, who also contributed gags. (It seems so poignant now to consider how jolly it used to be in the mining sector before Tony Abbott started talking about trade with China.) At long last, along came Macklin, who stood next to a large MCA banner to unveil her policy to a large media throng, who by this time had been bored senseless by the speeches and the delayed start. Macklin's advisory notice made no mention of the MCA's hosting, but what's life without surprises. And fear not, though; we're assured Aborigines were mentioned.

Top Koch

A YEAR after bestowing an honorary doctorate on Laurie Oakes, Brisbane journalism college J-school is doing the same to our former (but always esteemed) colleague Tony Koch. As director John Henningham tells Strewth, "We're giving Tony an honorary doctorate of journalism in recognition of his contribution to this much-reviled but ultimately noble craft. Apart from his fearless investigative reporting, Tony's been a great mentor over the years to young journos." Amen.