Strewth: Tear down this wall

Sarah Henderson put the Lib-ocalypse behind her by using a sledgehammer to beat the hell out of a wall like.

Sarah Henderson swinging low that sweet sledgehammer, coming for to deliver that blow, and a few more after that. Picture: Instagram

After last week’s Lib-ocalypse, unhappiness has manifested itself in the ranks in several ways, with expressions of disappointment and anger and, in the case of Julia Banks, the pulling of the pin. (It goes beyond the Liberals, of course. We’ve even seen one social media post calling for Dick Smith to be made prime minister; surely the perfect collision of hope and despair.) But time marches on and so must the Libs. Sarah Henderson seemed to put it all behind her yesterday as she went out in her Victorian electorate of Corangamite, picked up a sledgehammer and beat the hell out of a wall as if it were a marble table in Tony Abbott’s office. All for a helpful cause, of course; Henderson was starting demolition work on the Jan Juc Surf Lifesaving Club, which is to be replaced with the aid of a pile of federal coin. Given her hearty cries of “Argh!” (not to be confused with yesterday’s similar sounding cries of “au pair”) and the focused ferocity with which she swung that hammer, it seemed very cathartic and not in any way metaphorical.

Big pitch leader

Sudden onset Prime Minister Scott Morrison visited Endeavour Sports High School in his electorate yesterday, taking to the field for some rugby league in a jersey more golden than John Howard’s tracksuit and sensible trousers the shade of a well-made cup of tea. But as is plain to Strewth readers, your columnist understands so very little of footy it’s the knowledge version of antimatter. So we turned to this organ’s esteemed digital editor, Daniel Sankey, who prepared a charge sheet: “Morrison charged out of the line, then got sent back because he went too early. There was another phase in which he went to stop a young defender, only to drop the ball, which luckily went straight into the hands of a ‘teammate’ who cleaned up ScoMo’s mess by somehow catching it and taking on the defence himself.” However, we are informed the PM did execute a decent flick pass. Anyway, is there a spill metaphor lurking in here? Or does it speak of the untidiness of Peter Dutton’s au pair situation? What can be said for sure is Morrison now has himself a slot in the Prime Ministerial Sporting Hall of Shame. Not on the top shelf alongside Howard dodgily bowling that equally dodgy cricket ball in Pakistan. Nor that more solid cricket ball making an exploding spectacle of Bob Hawke. It probably belongs somewhere between Bill Shorten’s shifting AFL allegiance, and Paul Keating trying to pass himself off as a Collingwood fan.

Out of the ordinary

Federal Court judge Michael Wigney yesterday took Mark Latham’s lengthy defence to the defamation claim against him by journalist Osman Faruqi and punted it over a fence before inviting him to start again from scratch. (It’s a long story explained on the news pages.) But Wigney does not leave the original unsaluted: “Mr Latham’s defence is, on just about any view, an extraordinary document. In order to address Mr Faruqi’s strike out application, it is necessary to attempt to come to grips with it. That is no mean feat.” Such tender and almost admiring acknowledgment lends these cold days a welcome touch of apricity.

Blooming mistake

Contrary to Justice Wigney’s feelings (“What does one expect from … social media generally; deep, insightful analysis?”), Townsville City Council has posted this on Facebook: “There are incorrect reports that the Strand Rockpool has been closed due to Orlando Bloom being in town. It appears that some people have misread our media release from this morning. Please be aware that the Rock Pool is in fact closed due to an ALGAL bloom, NOT Orlando Bloom.” Unquote.

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