Strewth: Scott Morrison’s grand old time on Christmas Island

There was some sport over Scott Morrison’s Christmas Island press conference lightening the public purse by $2000 a minute.

A grand old time

There was some sport yesterday over Scott Morrison’s Christmas Island press conference essentially lightening the public purse to the tune of $2000 a minute. At that rate, you could cover former ABC boss Michelle Guthrie’s $1.64 million payout — a Matterhorn of moolah handed over even though her contract said the board could sack her at any time — in a mere 13½ hours. Unlike Guthrie’s payout, though, ScoMo’s island jolly came with the bonus of the PM inviting us to view him as a brick wall. Anyway, we turned to Forbes.com to get tips on how to raise two grand a minute on Kickstarter. They suggest: “Get to know your community before you start asking them for money; Don’t expect to overshoot your goal. Figure out exactly what you need — then ask for it; Your backers are invested — they want to see you succeed. Make them brand ambassadors; Give direct tasks to your backers”. And last but not least: “Never. Give. Up.”

Block around the clock

The invitation that Huawei sent out to journalists on Wednesday was refreshingly straightforward: “Tomorrow Huawei will hold a press conference to make an important announcement … The press conference will be held at Huawei’s headquarters in Shenzhen, China. We would like to invite you to watch the live streaming on our official Twitter, YouTube or Facebook platforms.” The complicating factor for Glenda Korporaal, this august organ’s woman in Beijing, is that Twitter, YouTube and Facebook are banned in China. The small cherry on the cake is that the usual fallback of going down the virtual private network route also resides at present in the realm of impossibility. Was there, perchance, a site that would allow this important presser to be viewed? No dice, as it transpired. It’s a purity of approach that’s almost worthy of applause.

The hunt for Hunt

What was Bill Shorten trying to say here about Greg Hunt before he suddenly recalibrated? “The problem for the Health Minister is he’s basically become a … he’s disappeared …” Moving along, the minister hasn’t disappeared. Only yesterday he was posing for a photo with staff from Flannery’s Pharmacy (in Forbes, NSW) as they were officially named pharmacy of the year by the Pharmacy Guild. Another case solved by Inspector Strewth.

Hands on the wheel

Amid his latest warning about the menace posed to the nation by Labor, Treasurer Josh Frydenberg yesterday tweeted: “It’s now more important than ever for Australia to stay the course, keep a steady hand at the helm …” It’s surely a freshened-up version of the famous “stable government” sign Malcolm Turnbull stood in front of at the Liberal Party’s 2016 federal election campaign launch, albeit for people who don’t need things boiled down to two-word slogans. Frydenberg is very respectful of voters’ intelligence that way.

More welcoming house

Speaking of Turnbull, he has visited Britain’s House of Commons with George Brandis. (By the by, we wish Brandis’s every entrance was accompanied by a chorus singing “Behold the Lord High Oz Commissioner” to the appropriate melody from The Mikado.) The welcome from Speaker John Bercow was effusive: “We value our excellent relations with your country, we admire your nation, we respect your cricketers and a lot of us have a particularly high regard for your illustrious tennis players. From this Speaker’s point of view, none greater than the illustrious Rockhampton Rocket, Rod Laver.” Added PM Theresa May: “I’m reminded of the occasion when another former Australian prime minister, John Howard, visited this house. He watched PM’s questions and he commented afterwards: However lively PMQs was here, it was a vicarage tea party compared to Australia.” Afterwards Turnbull tweeted: “The decorum of your Question Time was inspiring but unfamiliar.” For some reason, our mind drifted back to when Turnbull, freshly felled as opposition leader, was exiled to a backbench perch well inside the blast zone of Wilson Tuckey’s larynx. Every time Tuckey bellowed an interjection, Turnbull was a picture of regretful suffering, like a rabbit that had carelessly built its tunnel at the end of an air force runway.

Horse, gate, bolted

A word or two from the good folks at Marie Claire magazine on its fresh survey: “43 per cent of the 1500-plus women surveyed would prefer to see Julie Bishop in the top job, thrashing the current Prime Minister, who scored only 11 per cent.” Bill Shorten got 6 per cent, Sarah Hanson-Young 4 per cent and Michaelia Cash, despite everything, 1 per cent.

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