Strewth: Scott Morrison ‘pumped as’ over economic plan

What would an interpreter have made of Scott Morrison at the National Press Club?

Bob Hawke was no fan of playing funny buggers. Picture: File

PM pumped as

One of our nation’s more celebrated lost-in-translation moments was when Bob Hawke informed a Japanese audience: “I’m not here to play funny buggers.” By the time the interpreter was done, this colloquialism arrived on local eardrums as: “I’m not here to play laughing homosexuals with you.” While true, it wasn’t quite what Hawke intended. Then there was the time in China when the interpreter was a young diplomat called Kevin Rudd. As Richard Woolcott wrote in Undiplomatic Activities, Rudd — yet to become deft with Mandarin — rendered his ambassador’s words as: “Australia and China are enjoying simultaneous orgasms in their relationship.” (And that was well before Rudd’s rhetorical rats got involved.) Moving along, what would an interpreter have made of Scott Morrison at the National Press Club yesterday? As the PM worked himself into a state of excitement about the government’s economic plan, he declared: “I’m pumped as on this plan.” Even more of a challenge for any interpreter given, ah, recent events, would be this particular ScoMoment: “The Labor Party had quite a few prime ministers, that’s true — and they weren’t very good. We’ve had three good ones, I would argue.” We look forward to Tony Abbott and Malcolm Turnbull helping unpack that one.

Suggestion box

One person whose wishes were dashed mercilessly against the nearest jagged rocks was Chris Bowen. At his press conference earlier yesterday, the shadow treasurer kicked off with some guidance for the PM’s NPC address: “The first words that he utters at the podium should be ‘Sorry’. Sorry to the Australian people for voting against the banking royal commission 26 times. Sorry for …” And so on. Bowen, who it must be said wore the expression of a man bracing for disappointment, was duly disappointed. But on the plus side, there was this when the Herald Sun’s Anthony Galloway quizzed the PM about election date speculation. Quoth ScoMo: “Have you got your pen ready? Are you ready? I was almost tempted to tease you the other day when Michael and I were going out to swear in the assistant minister. I was going to text you and say — I’m on my way to Yarralumla.” After some mirth, ScoMo confirmed no one would be put out of their misery until after the budget.

Out to launch

Memory, as our friend Tom Dusevic noted in his memoir Whole Wild World, is a tricky bastard. So it has proved for those organising today’s launch of Peter Breen’s memoir, Candidates Disease, billed as the story of “the minor party epidemic that almost saved our democracy”. It was to be launched by Pauline Hanson, but alas that is no longer the case. The melancholy duty of explaining why has fallen to human publicity geyser Max Markson. “Pauline pulled out late on Sunday night,” he told Strewth. “She rang me to tell me of five stories in the book concerning her, she did not agree with Peter’s recounting of the situations. So his memories in his memoir do not agree with Pauline’s memories.” Among them we gather is an account of Fraser Anning attending a One Nation party meeting. Hanson has certainly learned one of the most important lessons ever taught by Kenny Rogers: You’ve got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run. The silver lining in the whole scenario is that senator David Leyonhjelm has leapt in to fill the Hanson void.

Joys and Blues

When the blue is not a reference to polls.

Just in case things get a bit dicey as parliament sits over the coming fortnight (and beyond), keep this photo in your pocket as a source of ready cheer: deputy Nationals leader Bridget McKenzie, Treasurer Josh Frydenberg and Jobs Minister Kelly O’Dwyer with the Carlton mascots — one of whom is demonstrating the other way of wearing budgie smugglers. The government had just popped $15 million into the redevelopment of Ikon Park for the AFLW, hence the mood lift. The aura of job security coming off the mascots probably helped, too.

[e-mail]