Strewth: Morrison takes booing in his stride at Australian Open

And so Prime Minister Scott Morrison went to the tennis, got booed and opted to take it in his stride.

Blue man group: Bill Shorten and company, bathed in light. Picture: ABC News 24

Boos bother

And so Scott Morrison went to the tennis, got booed and opted to take it in his stride. “It’s a great tradition,” the Prime Minister declared pluckily yesterday. “I would be disappointed if they didn’t. Bob Hawke and everyone else got the same treatment at games.” The gold standard was set by Gough Whitlam in 1975 at Lang Park with senator Ron McAuliffe. McAuliffe also happened to be president of the Queensland Rugby League at the time so it all must have seemed pretty straightforward. But the booing of Whitlam was vigorous and, as Barry Cohen wrote, the crowd supplemented its booing by lobbing meat pies and beer cans. Whitlam, being Whitlam, delivered the pay-off: “McAuliffe, don’t you ever invite to me to a place where you’re so unpopular.” That Whitlam was given the arse twice later that year — first by the G-G, then by the electorate — does little to dilute the magic.

Crooked cooks cooking

While ScoMo embraced the boos, Bill Shorten was quizzed about drugs. It was during his press conference in Maryborough, an event that, as you can see from this screen grab borrowed from the ABC, was bathed in a soft blue light that lent it the feel of an edgy reboot of Avatar. Even more so when senator Kim Carr emerged. Where were we? Oh yes, drugs!

Journo: “Mr Shorten, NSW Greens MP Cate Faehrmann has revealed she previously took illegal drugs. Can you rule out ever taking illegal drugs?”

Shorten: “I’ve actually answered this before. I can’t rule out in my university years, I might have, done something …”

Let’s face it, the good stuff isn’t really a building block for reliable memories. We certainly will not cast the first (ahem) stoned. Anyway, back to the chase.

Shorten: “But what I can do is since then, especially when I have become a parent, it opens your eyes and I am nowhere near as relaxed about these matters … so if I can go to the heart of the matter, not what one did at university 30 years ago.”

Eventually he made it to this: “Crooked drug cooks cooking up their, you know, a particular compound of evil poison.” Uni days are far behind him.

Hovercraft full of eels

While in the neighbourhood, let us present this nugget from the freshest issue of The Sunday Times: “Londoners are taking so much cocaine that the class-A drug can be found in the Thames … It is feared that the high level of cocaine is hurting the river’s wildlife, with separate research showing that it makes eels hyperactive. Researchers used a monitoring station near the Houses of Parliament …”

Purrs for thought

If you’re aware of Coalition senator David Bushby, you’ve no doubt heard his news. The poor bugger barely announced his resignation the other day when whatever visions of a life of leisure were dancing in his mind were cruelly yanked away, replaced instead with the harsh prospect of slogging away as consul-general of Chicago. While pondering his contributions to parliament, some inevitably landed on the time in Senate estimates he meowed at Penny Wong, an event that went off like a grenade in a napalm factory. But let us not forget the majesty of Bushby’s explanation: “Her reaction to the issue of the secretary’s appearance was like that of an angry cat. It could have been a male or female cat. So I thought she was like an angry cat, the way they sometimes strike out. I like cats.”

Herpetology corner

Speaking of which, Ten has had cause to run a story the network’s Sandra Sully tweeted thus: “Snakes are swallowing pet cats whole. The question is: why?” The answer is: snakes can’t chew. We hope this has been of some help.

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