Strewth: Manhattan project

During Scott Morrison’s speech to the Midwinter Ball, Sarah Hanson-Young cried out, ‘Bring back Malcolm!’

It was during Scott Morrison’s speech to the (seasonally adjusted) Midwinter Ball that Greens senator Sarah Hanson-Young cried out, “Bring back Malcolm!” It was just the sort of thing one might have expected from Muppet hecklers Statler and Waldorf. But the call was heeded in a way later in the evening when, a few minutes after midnight Canberra time, Malcolm Turnbull arrived in the room in the form of this tweet: “The point I have made to @ScottMorrisonMP and other colleagues is that given the uncertainty around Peter Dutton’s eligibility, acknowledged by the Solicitor-General, he should be referred to the High Court, as Barnaby (Joyce) was, to clarify the matter.” In the Great Hall of Parliament House, it was late enough for ball attendees to be reasonably marinated but not yet cooked. The tweet, it is safe to say, went off with the sort of bang you’d expect from a bomb dropped into a confined space. Sure, there’s a hell of a time difference between Canberra and New York, but this Manhattan project did have the feeling of something timed with meticulous care. Or perhaps it was just serendipity. Either way, it added enough of an edge to the evening that by the morning in Parliament House, the vision of Bob Katter in the coffee queue with a shovel in one hand and a bunch of reminders penned on the other palm didn’t seem odd.

Apple of his ire

This stirring of what Labor MP Nick Champion dubbed “big trouble from the Big Apple” of course provoked glee in Labor ranks, but — modern politics being the remorseless Ouroborous that it is — it ultimately looped back to less helpful things, things Sky News’ Kieran Gilbert was keen to explore with Labor’s Tony Burke. To wit: “The former PM is making interventions as he has made clear via Twitter overnight. Do you have any sympathy for your opponents in the parliamentary party? I guess there is another former PM in New York who I think from time to time sends the odd tip to your colleagues as well, Mr Rudd.” Alas, Burke did not share Gilbert’s enthusiasm: “Well, this one goes right to the heart of whether someone is legally allowed to be a member of parliament.” And on Burke went, but there was not so much as a slice of Kevin.

Fancy seeing you

Freshly minted backbencher Julie Bishop, meanwhile, passed some time yesterday morning having what Labor’s Mark Dreyfus would drolly describe as “completely chance encounter with the entire press gallery”. It was less a doorstop press conference and more a rolling maul with questions and answers. At one point a cameraman thudded into a wall, drawing a “Careful there, honey” from Bishop. That said, she did not exactly lead by example, tossing out lines with a devil-may-care relish. Exhibit A: “Mr Dutton has stated there is no issue concerning his eligibility to sit in parliament. It’s up to others to demonstrate that statement is not correct. If there is a vote on the matter, well, I’ll make my mind up at that time.”

Dough pullers

Bishop was a conspicuous absence from the ball, but the sheer heft of her fundraising for charity via the event’s annual eBay auction was saluted. Among the auction offerings, the chance to have a bottle of wine with Bill Shorten and Tanya Plibersek at Parliament House went for $5000 on the strength of one bid. Morrison’s offer to cook a curry at Kirribilli House for the winner was added to the auction list only very late in the piece but it still pulled in 12 grand.

The daze after

Have things improved? Here’s the post-ball Strewth from 2015: “The day after the Midwinter Ball, the lights in Parliament House glowed with a certain ferocity, every tick of the clocks fell like hammer blows, and the bells — the damned, incessant bells — rang at a frequency apparently designed to crumble craniums. Things were particularly fractious by the time question time got under way with … angry Labor heckles and an atmosphere of advanced tetchiness. There was always going to be collateral damage, not least Nick Champion, who was honoured with his 51st booting despite not having committed any acts of miscreancy. He went protesting his innocence, perhaps mulling the possibility Madam Speaker is going all Minority Report and punting MPs in anticipation of future misdeeds … Things got so feisty, a South Korean parliament-style brawl seemed tantalisingly in the offing. As Bronwyn Bishop was moved to muse, ‘All I can say is I think those who stayed out late last night and only had Berocca should have taken something else as well.’ ”

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