Strewth: Friends and foe

The PM was admirable focused in his speech to the Liberal Party federal council.

“You probably had to be there” is one of the first thoughts that crosses the mind while reading the start of Malcolm Turnbull’s speech to the Liberal Party federal council. Bereft of the delivery and the noise, it looks a little … well, have a look yourselves: “Thank you! Thank you so much! Thank you. Thank you, Julie. Thank you. Thank you, Liberals! Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. I applaud you. Thanks a lot. Hey what a great party! What great values!” But after that, the power of the words begins to assert itself, words that seek to emphasise that while the Libs have Great Values, you-know-who emphatically Does Not. “It is a very, very, very long time since we had a Labor Party as left-wing, as anti-business as the Labor Party led by unbelievea-Bill Shorten,” the Prime Minister counselled sternly. Sure, there was a nostalgic (if uncomplimentary) shout-out to Kevin Rudd, but mostly he focused on the present arrangement. The PM held forth on “the breathtaking dishonesty of the Labor Party” and “the untrustworthiness of the Labor Party”. “Labor,” he said, adding specifics to the charge sheet, “cannot be trusted with the economy.” Who had no plan for Australia’s security? Labor. Who had no plan to continue funding lifesaving drugs? Labor. Who was going to assault and fleece anyone on more than $100,000 a year? Labor! As for Shorten, he was: “The enemy of aspiration. The enemy of investment. The enemy of employment.” All in all, a bravura performance from the PM that departed from the subject of Shorten and Labor just enough to keep it from becoming a monograph. So it must have been a bit vexing for him when all anyone wanted to talk about was that ABC privatisation brainwave. As Disney could have told you after Frozen became a surprise monster hit, you can’t always tell what’s going to break through.

Agreeable type

As Labor frontbencher Mark Butler shot the breeze with journalists about gas, a certain theme began to make itself clear. So much so that one reporter eventually felt compelled to ask, “Is anything not Malcolm Turnbull’s fault?” But after all that diligent sinking of the slipper, Butler was dragged towards the less comfortable territory that lay behind talk of changing the name of Nick Champion’s electorate.

Journo: “So you agree with Christopher Pyne then, in a sense, that Wakefield, the name, ought to be changed?”

Butler: “Nick Champion agrees with Christopher Pyne in that respect and I agree with Nick Champion.”

But despite that nimble bit of buffer construction by Butler, the ordeal was not yet over.

Journo: “When was the last time you agreed with Christopher Pyne?”

Butler: “Ah, I’m not sure — I’d have to check my diary on that one … Politicians agree on policy rather more often than sometimes the media gives us credit for.”

Journo: “But you don’t intend to continue making a habit of this, I presume?”

Butler: “I do it as often as I need to, no more.”

One imagines the laughter from Pyne at this point would have been enough to empty all the nearby trees of their birds

Gut feeling

Recently, Strewth had (professionally legitimate) reasons to revisit the now dormant @Rudd2000 Twitter account, a parallel political universe blessed with a gleeful syntax and spelling anarchy. As we explained at the time: “Among its many characters was Anthony Albanese, recast as ‘Ablo’ and granted an appetite somewhere between labrador and black hole. Some sample tweets: ‘Ablo rock up Canterbury High School canteen launch defcon four on sausage rolls’; ‘Ablo get himself kick out (question time) watch out Nandos Civic’; ‘Ablo drink wagon of Carlton Draught then eat wagon also eat horses’.” Albo himself had a soft spot for the Twitter account, and when the tweets were at last compiled into a rollicking tome, he was on hand to launch it. Anyway, it’s nice to see him inhabiting the character more, his office cranking out an official transcript the other day in which “Albo” was spelt “Ablo”. Watch out, Nandos Civic.

Mincing words

When it comes to poetry, who knows what might cause the muse to strike. For Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack, it was the unlikely subject of vegetable-based “mince” being flogged in the meat section of Woolies. This just wasn’t on, MickMack opined, before elevating his protest with this: “Mince is mince, mince is meat. That’s my interpretation of what mince is.” It almost has a touch of Rudyard Kipling about it, which is not what you’d expect in the war against ersatz foodstuffs.

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