Strewth: Fresh Mal content

Despite his bleak poetry, Malcolm Turnbull did give a firm indication he’s coming to terms with his fate.

A vision of a future when federal Parliament House needs nothing more than a single Craig Kelly to function. Picture: Gary Ramage

And so it came to pass that shortly after sparrow’s fart on Radio National yesterday, Fran Kelly had cause to ask Malcolm Turnbull: “You promised not to be a miserable ghost; you know your colleagues will see this as you being a miserable ghost, don’t you?” A Liberal MP proceeded to share a still from Ghostbusters, complete with the movie’s catchphrase “Who ya gonna call?” Another opined to Strewth, “This is the snarling rampager who would ring you in your pyjamas and dress you down.” Still, a broad church. Anyway, the former prime minister was on air to share his thoughts on the preselection of Liberal backbencher Craig “Bye-bye curious” Kelly (pictured here in the House of Representatives, presumably resting his vocal cords after an alleged ding-dong with the mayor of Sutherland Shire on Sunday). And he wanted known that he had favoured a March 23 election for the benefit of NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian, “who is leading an outstanding government of real and considerable achievement, can go to the polls and be judged on her record rather than being hit by the brand damage that arose from the very destructive, pointless, shameful leadership change in Canberra on the 24th August”. Despite this bleak poetry, Turnbull did give a firm indication he’s coming to terms with his fate: “I’m not in the parliament. I mean both Kevin Rudd and Tony Abbott after they ceased to be prime minister stayed in the parliament and did everything they could to overthrow their successor, right? I’ve left the parliament. I’m not a threat to anyone. I’m not a threat to Scott Morrison or anyone.” So, all is sweet. Surely.

Birmo the brave

After the running of the Turnbull, Trade Minister Simon Birmingham showed true valour on ABC News Radio: “People don’t want to hear about the internals of political parties. That’s why I don’t want to talk about the internals of political parties because it feeds the cycle.” And during a press conference: “I’d rather that we would be always talking about the issues and the policies that matter to the Australian people and that’s what I’ll be doing day in and day out.” Perhaps one day poor Birmo’s inner monologue will escape.

Room with some views

Parliament House’s Monkey Pod room — the chamber that won notoriety as a hotbed of the anti-Turnbull “resistance” back in the day — was booked out from 8am to 5pm yesterday by one Scott Morrison. Just to be safe, perhaps.

Upper house of fun

The Senate had a bit of an end-of-year vibe yesterday. Coalition senator Ian Macdonald responded to the “Stop Adani” earrings Greens senator Larissa Waters wore last week with a huge “You can’t stop Adani” earring. Foreign Minister Marise Payne addressed Senate president Scott Ryan as “Mr Terrorist”. Then there was this multi-party splendour apropos the Kelly preselection protection.

Jenny McAlliste r: “Why is there a quota for clowns but not for women?”

Cory Bernardi: “You can’t refer to members of parliament as clowns.”

Jacinta Collins: “The Prime Minister called you all muppets!”

Bernardi: “It’s simply inappropriate and Senator McAllister knows. She should withdraw.”

Derryn Hinch: “Isn’t truth a defence in NSW?”

On that note, we leave the Senate.

Just resting

Some perspective from The Guardian: “Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari has denied claims that he had died and was replaced by a Sudanese impostor, breaking his silence on a rumour that has circulated on social media for months.” We’ve seen MP Ian Goodenough nodding off during a colleague’s speech but that’s not the same.

[e-mail]