Strewth: Fire and ice for pollies out wielding shovels

Out wielding shovels were Deputy PM Michael McCormack and Defence Minister Christopher Pyne.

If a leadership spill element were on we’d call this, ‘When putsch comes to shovel’. But alas.

Despite word two federal pollies will appear in next year’s I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here, neither of these photos is a sneak preview. Out wielding shovels yesterday were Deputy PM Michael McCormack — sod-turning for the inland railway in Parkes — and Defence Minister Christopher Pyne, making a divot on the site of South Australia’s Future Submarine Construction Yard. MickMack’s posse includes Assistant Trade, Tourism and Investment Minister Mark Coulton and the ever-soothing presence of former Nationals leader Warren Truss. But it’s the duelling colour schemes that hit you first — the blazing orange hi-vis of the rail gang compared with the cool, neutral tones of Team Sub. This is fire v ice. (Cue Spinal Tap’s Derek Smalls: “I feel my role in the band is to be kind of the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.”

Far from our shores

This week’s greatest reassurance came when the ABC’s Raf Epstein interviewed Labor’s legal affairs spokesman Mark Dreyfus.

Epstein: “I don’t know that I’ve ever heard of the bloke who runs the Australian Signals Directorate … Mike Burgess ever saying anything public ever. They’re the people who tap the phones for our spies …”

Dreyfus: “Overseas.”

Epstein: “Overseas, yep.”

Phew. Stand down, everyone.

Fletcher on the pulse

If you’re overseas and receiving an Australian pension, Social Services Minister Paul Fletcher would like to know now and then you’re still alive. This is partly because he cares, partly because the nation is sending dough to at least 6000 of the dead. Labor’s Linda Burney and Ed Husic have responded: “The government needs to guarantee its pension ‘proof-of-life’ requirement won’t be another debacle.” The D-word is enough to get some people thinking back to when the Rudd government bestowed much stimulus largesse on the sadly departed. Many were unkind about that bit of coffer-coffin overlap, but we always thought of it as a brave attempt to disprove the idea you can’t take it with you.

Say it with rodents

A nugget from AFP: “A session of the Colombian congress was suspended after four mice were ‘parachuted’ into the chamber from the public gallery. In the country rats and mice are symbols of theft and corruption.” Say it with rodents — just not necessarily the Kevin Rudd way.

The bubble that blows

The Australian Dictionary Centre has declared Scott Morrison’s beloved “Canberra bubble” the word of the year. Yes, this overlooks the fact it’s two words, but then ScoMo overlooks the tendency of bubbles to be transparent, every shambolic thing within them utterly visible. Anyway, we’ll honour it with today’s cocktail, the Angel Kiss, which gives a touch of bubble, Christmas and the Religious Discrimination Act in one handy vessel. Pour yourself a flute of champagne — or a coupe glass, if you’re a more lateral drinker — then add 30ml each of peach schnapps and vodka. But as allrecipes.com.au is keen to stress, do it slowly. As the PM would tell you, too much bubble and you’ll end up feeling a bit of a Muppet.

[e-mail]