Strewth: Dutton thinks parliament is a ‘disadvantage’

Peter Dutton takes us a step closer to a military coup.

Lose the house

During times of political shambles, Strewth has mused aloud as to the benefits of a military coup. Peter Cosgrove is just down the road from Parliament House in Yarralumla and we’re confident he could pull something together, Should The Need Arise. Step forward Immigration Minister Peter Dutton, who told Sky News: “I’ve always seen parliament as a disadvantage, frankly, for sitting governments.” It’s a small but encouraging step. Unless we’re overextrapolating again.

Have cake, eat it

Possibly haunted by the vision of that time then Labor government minister Craig Emerson turned up in a Senate courtyard with a ghetto blaster, a Skyhooks tune, a subtle singing voice and the lyrics “No Whyalla wipe-out”, a bunch of pollies trooped off to the South Australian town to help share the good news from steelworks tsar Sanjeev Gupta. Here’s a bit of what Bill Shorten said: “It’s a pleasure to be here to demonstrate the bipartisan support for this project.” And: “I’d like to acknowledge all the distinguished guests, including the current Prime Minister …” One imagines that “current” parked next to “Prime Minister” is a bit of a sledge. Nevertheless, it was warm on the whole. And here’s Scott Morrison: “Can I acknowledge the leaders of the opposition who are here today, particularly Bill Shorten …” Compare and contrast to what went down on Twitter. Here’s the PM: “Saw Bill Shorten at Whyalla today — under Labor one in eight manufacturing jobs were lost. Last year under Lib/Nats, 86,000 manufacturing jobs were created. #astrongereconomy.” And here’s Shorten Suite, Twitter account of the Opposition Leader’s media unit, responding to ScoMo: “Good you decided to go, after initially having a hissy fit when you found out Bill was speaking and threatening not to go.” It’s like being able to hear people’s inner and outer voices in one hit.

Tiny answer

The PM also had a doorstop press conference in Whyalla, which had its very own ups and downs.

Journo: “Can you still justify replacing Malcolm Turnbull, considering you’re doing worse in the polls now than when he was there?”

ScoMo: “I’ll let commentators go on all about that.”

Journo: “It’s a fair question, though, isn’t it?”

ScoMo: “And that’s one for commentators to muse on, not prime ministers.”

Which is one way of doing it. Rather more happily, there was also this.

Journo: “You keep talking about Whyalla and South Australia being the comeback city. I’m guessing, given the polls today, you’re hoping for a comeback?”

ScoMo: “Well, I’ll take Whyalla as my inspiration.”

Meanwhile, back on Twitter, the melodically minded Emmo cheerily reminded the nation: “I did say there’d be no Whyalla wipe-out.”

Hockey and Hawkie

Among those wishing happy birthday to a former PM has been Australia’s man in Washington, Joe Hockey: “Happy Birthday to my mate Bob Hawke. Legend of Australian politics and a mate of mine for 22 years. Although I could never rely on his vote, I always sought his wisdom and sage advice. He is a great friend.” Hockey went on to recall doorknocking his celebrated constituent back in 1995. We asked how that particular Hockey-Hawkie meeting went. “In truth,” Hockey told Strewth, “I said publicly that my ultimate benchmark for political success was whether I could get him to hand out how-to-votes for me at Northbridge Public School. I failed.”

One good turn

It all takes us back to 2009 when Hawke turned 80, not least because the rolling festival of Bob yielded one of our favourite examples of polite but emphatic refusals to comment. As Strewth dutifully reported at the time: “Having spent time with Bob Hawke this week, Strewth couldn’t help but note his continuing glee over the bikini-clad dancer in the John Howard mask who so enlivened his 80th birthday party last week. Then we got to thinking, if this one moment of burlesque dance was responsible for so much happiness, what if the favour were returned? So we rang Howard’s office yesterday to ask the former PM how he’d feel if a burlesque dancer in a Hawke mask turned up at his next birthday. Rather than a pedestrian ‘no comment’, Howard’s office got back to us with something that’s more of a collector’s item: an ‘absolutely no comment’. Still, something for Janette to keep in the back of her mind when she’s organising the big day next July.” Anyway, the man Paul Keating dubbed Old Silver turns 90 next year. The bar has been raised high.

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