Spook to me

THERE'S a mystery afoot on the shores of Canberra's Lake Burley Griffin, where a hefty swath of land is being cleared, surrounded by high fences and blue plastic sheeting.

THERE'S a mystery afoot on the shores of Canberra's Lake Burley Griffin, where a hefty swath of land is being cleared, surrounded by high fences and blue plastic sheeting.

The normal site signs give no hint as to what it will be used for, apart from an artist's impression and the enigmatic description "new commonwealth building project". With work ramping up, a traffic notice has gone out to residents informing them about new speed limits around the site, the joyful prospect of loads of trucks coming and going, and so on. And then the penny drops, thanks to the fine print in the note telling those who want more information to pay a visit to www.asio.gov.au. So what can residents of Canberra (a city that would surely benefit from being renamed Kevingrad) look forward to as the new ASIO HQ takes shape? Going by the artist's rendering on the ASIO website, it looks like an earthbound Death Star. Apparently it will boast the "capacity to locate all ASIO staff at a single location". Is this wise? And while we're on the topic, Strewth has been a fan of ASIO subterfuge ever since we applied for a job with the agency many years ago (what can we say? It was just one of those weeks). We were sent an address saying where the entrance exam was to be held, accompanied by a stern instruction that if questioned, we were not to mention ASIO under any circumstances but instead suggest we were there for the exam for the Attorney-General's Department. Luckily, your Strewth columnist landed a job with this paper just in the nick of time.

You can call me, Al

IT'S been a busy week since Strewth related the adventures of Alastair Marshall, the Telstra customer who was so jack of being unable to get the internet connected to his home near Canberra that he emailed new Telstra chief and avowed troubleshooter David Thodey. Marshall didn't receive a reply until - coincidentally, we're fairly sure - just after a mention in Strewth early this week. Since then, Thodey has been hopping on the blower to Marshall a few times, apologising for Telstra's cock-ups and vowing to investigate the case himself. Sounds like the beginning of a beautiful friendship. In the meantime, Strewth's inbox has been on the receiving end of an avalanche of Telstra customers who are exceptionally keen to be given Thodey's email address. All we can say is, good luck.

One fine day

SOME are calling it the final insult, but since Western Australia's May referendum on whether or not to have daylight saving (no, really), government coffers there have so far been boosted by $622,000 in fines from non-voters. This is possibly what is known as tripping up on the light fantastic.

At face value

IT'S been a tough time for those of us clinging to corporate landmarks. First Woolworths beheaded Dick Smith, removing the bespectacled entrepreneur from his place of pride outside Dick Smith stores (albeit a couple of decades after Smith flogged the chain). Now adman John Singleton has been sent to the marquee knackery. STW group, the company founded by Singleton in the 1980s as John Singleton Advertising before it merged with a global giant to become Singleton Ogilvy & Mather, has dumped him from the shingle. Singo departed the agency two years ago, but it has carried on with his name intact, trading off the legend and his colourful reputation. The clipping was done without fanfare, while Singo himself has interests in a new agency, Banjo, and is busy learning how to use a new hip.

Elle of a paw show

AND speaking of advertising, Elle Macpherson's labradoodle Bella has become the face of canine fashion brand Dogside.com, flogging dog scarves and other items that suggest the end of civilisation is near. According to Britain's Daily Mail, Bella's nickname - in deference to that of her owner - is the Dog's Body.

Farther Christmas

WHEN Christmas decorations appear in November, Strewth tends to roll our eyes and mutter something less than festive. When they appear in October, we experience a strange, throbbing sensation around the temples. So at the sight of an email from Dig Marketing headed "Crack the bubbly, it's almost Christmas", we progressed to the full, floating out-of-body experience. The message continues, "As we all know, the festive season is just around the corner and I am aware that you might just be in the process of planning your festive season editions as we speak." Just around the corner? That's precisely where Strewth is off to right now, to have a little lie down somewhere dark while screaming "It's August!" to the indifferent walls. Still, at least the Dig folk aren't tardy.