Someone has to

INDEPENDENT MP Tony Windsor is sorry his mate Rob Oakeshott won't be Speaker of the House of Representatives, while ruling himself out of the job that comes with a big pay packet and enough office space to hold a convention.

Meanwhile, Tony Abbott told Alan Jones on his radio show - and what a friendly chat it was, too - that he'd be happy for Strewth favourite Harry Jenkins to stay in the job. Being Speaker was not always a doddle, as speakers know from experience. Following the Westminster tradition, fellow MPs must drag the newly elected Speaker to the chair while he makes a show of reluctance. In the early days of the House of Commons, one of the Speaker's jobs was to inform the king what MPs were thinking. If the king didn't like what he heard, the Speaker could lose his head. Between 1394 and 1535, seven speakers lost their heads, one was murdered and one killed in battle.

Pies and queues

ONLY 10,000 fans turned up to watch Collingwood's 90-minute training run at Gosch's Paddock yesterday. Last year, Geelong attracted a lousy 5000 for their Wednesday run before locking the gates on Thursday night, thereby ditching a long tradition. St Kilda followed suit, but it did them no good in the grand final. Having cracked a joke at Collingwood's expense, Strewth was expecting at least one St Kilda offering, but so far not one. Luckily, Collingwood quips keep on coming, most unpublishable. Try this one, a variation on the unsupported assumption Collingwood fans are welfare bludgers. "You know you're a Collingwood supporter when you let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids."

Red carpet moment

VICTORIAN Premier John Brumby happens to be a Collingwood supporter, so we shouldn't stereotype Magpie fans. Some of our friends are Collingwood supporters and none of them are bludgers. Brumby was at the Brownlow Medal count the other night when he was bailed up by a very scantily clad Brynne Edelsten, buxom wife of Carlton man Geoffrey Edelsten. Strewth noticed that Brumby did not know where to look. But if he were looking at the lady, there was much to see. Besides, he could hardly stare at the red carpet when Brynne thrust a microphone under his nose. She had been hired to quiz footballers' WAGs about their frocks but seized the moment when Brumby appeared. We would swear we noticed a bead of perspiration on his brow as he made his escape.

Rock on, Treasurer

PLANNING for South Australian Treasurer Kevin Foley's 50th birthday party is well advanced, although there's no word yet on whether he will arrive with his trademark bevy of young blondes. No invitations have been issued to journalists and even Labor Party hacks may not get a look-in. This weekend's birthday bash is being organised by his sons Ryan, 22, and Ben, 19. Let's hope they've organised a karaoke machine so that Foley can reprise his version of The Gambler. In January, footage of Foley singing the Kenny Rogers classic appeared on YouTube. It was, music critics recall, an exuberant, late-night, loud and out-of-tune rendition. At least he has a crack. Happy birthday, Mr Foley.

Happily evo after

AS Minister for Regional Australia, Simon Crean has the tricky job of sucking up to the independents. He was off to a great start yesterday, launching a website aimed at getting unhappy Sydneysiders to move to NSW country towns, where life is so much more relaxing. Visit evocities.com.au and you can discover the delights of Albury, Armidale, Bathurst, Dubbo, Orange, Tamworth and Wagga Wagga without the need to drive there to see for yourself. Avuncular Tony Windsor looked on with approval. Evocities' Steven Sykes says the $1.2 million program is "not just an advertising campaign". But without an advertising campaign, how would people know where to look? Evo? That's energy, vision and opportunity. Thank you, that marketing consultant.

Modern transition

THERE are times in the troubled history of industrial relations when the populace can only stand still and marvel. One such moment is upon us: the Community and Public Sector Union and the University of NSW have reached an enterprise agreement that is completely gender neutral. Take it away, CPSU secretary John Cahill: "This is an important start in making a safe and welcoming environment for . . . staff who may be trans or intersex workers who may not identify as either male or female, or who are transitioning."

Live action hero

JOURNALIST Murray Sayle will be farewelled at Sydney's Rookwood tomorrow, south chapel, at 1.30pm. Nephew Brian Findlay recalls a larger-than-life character who once dropped in at Beirut, having driven from Switzerland in a Porsche. He was on the trail of Soviet spy Kim Philby. Sayle often appeared unannounced on his way to or from a story, Finday recalls. "He was always my live action hero."