Snap happy

THE office of East Timorese President Jose Ramos-Horta has published the latest issue of its quarterly magazine.

strewth Tristan Weston

THE office of East Timorese President Jose Ramos-Horta has published the latest issue of its quarterly magazine, a handsome full-colour affair distributed for free across the nation.

Illiteracy levels are high in East Timor, but no matter; there are plenty of pictures on those 88 pages -- including 72 photos (give or take a couple) of, you guessed it, President Ramos-Horta. He is of course terribly photogenic; that there's an election next year is coincidental.

A hint is dropped

AS noted in this organ's news pages, Tristan Weston did not fare overly well in a report by Victoria's Office of Police Integrity and yesterday resigned as law and order adviser to Deputy Premier Peter Ryan. Reading between the lines on this sign (pictured) on Weston's front gate, we're guessing his relationship with the media has now drawn to a close.

Voice of experience

THE learning curve in action, as demonstrated by recently resigned commonwealth ombudsman Allan Asher, who'll be a panellist on Monday night's instalment of Q&A. After receiving a tweet from fellow panellist Anne Summers declaring, "Looking forward to meeting you on Monday, Allan, prepared or not", Asher amusingly tweeted back, "Prepared but not writing questions!!"

Melee with manners

DURING the infancy of aerial combat in World War I, there were occasions when gentlemen in their flying machines would circle each other for a bit, taking potshots with their sidearms before waving and flying on. This approach didn't last long, but it did spring to mind in a roundabout way as we studied Trade Minister Craig Emerson's chat yesterday with 2UE broadcaster and former One Nation svengali David Oldfield, an encounter in which they cut each other off so often we came to think of them as a mutual abbreviation society. Here is a selection of Emmo's shorter responses: "Absolutely rubbish. Absolute rubbish"; "Complete crap. Absolute crap"; "Yes, well, you're wrong"; "I did a PhD on it, so thanks for the lecture"; " Could I answer the question, or would you like to make a speech?" "David, do you want an answer to the question or not?" And yet here's how it ended:

Oldfield: "Minister Emerson, grateful for your time, as always."

Emerson: "Thank you, David."

Oldfield: "All the best."

Still serving

HE retired before the 2007 election but Graham Edwards -- the former WA Labor MP, who has been wheelchair-bound since losing his legs in the Vietnam War -- is on the job again. He did his first shift as a Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting volunteer on Wednesday night. Resplendent in the Cadbury-purple T-shirt of the CHOGM uniform, Edwards was on a guard-volunteer duty at the Prime Minister's hotel in Perth, directing lost souls to the right entrances and exits and even offering advice on some of Perth's better eating spots. The affable former MP does, however, admit that since he retired he hadn't been to some of the top nosheries where the mining elite chow down.

Reign on track

FOLLOWING yesterday's musings as to whether the Queen and Prince Philip chose the zone one tram fare costing $3.80 or the cheaper $2.80 senior citizen option while in Melbourne, financial adviser Robert Timms has got in touch: "It would be my understanding that since the Queen would still undoubtedly be working more than 35 hours per week, she would not qualify for the Victorian Seniors Card, although it is possible that her more senior husband has scaled back by now to the extent that he might just squeeze under the wire." There's an image.

Read the fine print

A MEDIA alert yesterday from Northern Territory Fisheries Minister Kon Vatskalis that included the words "free lunch" in the subject heading might have lured a few journos, but alas the free lunch proved to be fish food tied to underwater cameras, called Baited Remote Underwater Video Stations -- otherwise known by the vaguely union-ish abbreviation, BRUVS -- on the bed of Darwin Harbour. It's to get an idea of the health of fish life, and as such, is far more acceptable than previous Australian bottom-of-the-harbour schemes.

Number of the boost

READER Andy thought he'd found the devil in the dial tone when he missed a call from a number ending in 666: "Intrigued, I listened to my voicemail message and found it bemusing (maybe just because I'm a political nerd, but bemused nonetheless) that it was the Liberal National Party calling about my old expired membership."