She'll be apples?

CANBERRA rolled out a fine welcome for New Zealand Prime Minister John Key yesterday. What were the odds he would mention the Rugby World Cup?

CANBERRA rolled out a fine welcome for New Zealand Prime Minister John Key yesterday. What were the odds he would mention the Rugby World Cup? Odds on, that's what.

"All the indications are that . . . it could well be an Australia and New Zealand final. We have been thinking about what could be a possible bet . . . one option we were thinking that maybe the prime minister of the losing country has to eat an apple from the other one's country. I would say . . . let's say 60 seconds describing the merits and the benefits of that apple and why it's such a pleasurable and enjoyable experience. So that is an interesting challenge and all I can say is I hope the All Blacks don't lose." Any self-respecting Kiwi could talk about an Australian apple for a full minute, surely? But we are not so sure about Julia Gillard's ability to make a New Zealand apple sound interesting.

Swan off key

AFTER his speech, Key was a big hit with MPs from all sides. Coalition, Labor and Greens lined up to speak to him, although Gillard appeared to miss introducing him to Deputy PM Wayne Swan and Senate leader Chris Evans who were left standing at the dispatch boxes as Key bade a warm hello to Kevin Rudd. After Tony Abbott showed Key along his line-up there was a huddle that started to last a bit too long and Gillard had to come along to break up a meeting "of like minds". The parliament's youngest MP Wyatt Roy was brought along to say hello. Unfortunately, he had just popped a big red, chewy lolly into his mouth and spent the time chatting to Key while his jaws worked overtime.

Attention-seeker

TONY Abbott says he wants a plebiscite on a carbon tax. He would, we imagine, frame the question thus: "Do you want a great big new tax: yes or no?" Most people would be able to predict the result of such an exercise and you don't need a PhD in political science to work it out. Labor people in Canberra says this is a political stunt, a concept surely foreign to all Liberals, Nationals and Greens. Abbott said he would introduce the bill at 10am, ignoring the fact that the house was not scheduled to assemble until 2.30pm for the New Zealand PM's address. Second, if his bill was selected for debate, it couldn't be considered until July 4 at the earliest, but more likely August 16. Then he would have to get a majority of the crossbenchers. Perhaps stunt is the word; we prefer attention-seeking manoeuvre designed to catch air on morning radio.

Time to muse

HOW is Kevin Rudd able to fit his huge schedule into such a short day? Perhaps he has discovered a time warp that allows him to put extra hours in the days and extra days in the week. Collingwood president Eddie McGuire is known as Eddie Everywhere but he's got nothing on Rudd who borders on the omnipresent. New York, London, Canberra - he zips hither and thither. "Last Sunday I was in a church in London and having a quiet think about [his removal as PM last year]," Mr Rudd told Sydney Christian radio station Hope. "I was musing in church . . . the key thing is not to sit around and mope. The key thing is to get out there and make a difference with the resources that you have at your disposal today." Church is certainly a good place to muse about such things. "None of us are perfect and we all fall short of the glory of God."

Sick rant

TEN days ago, South Australian Premier Mike Rann went on Adelaide radio to accuse our state political correspondent Michael Owen of going into "sort of a nervous fit" when there's a quiet news day and then writing a story about leadership speculation. Well, by that logic it must have been a very quiet day yesterday for Labor backbencher Leon Bignell. The parliamentary secretary for health caused a media frenzy in Adelaide by going on ABC radio twice to offer his view that voters were sick of Rann's style; people had stopped listening and the party should install Education Minister Jay Weatherill into the leadership, pronto. Bignell may be having more than a nervous fit when he arrives for caucus this morning.

The big chill

DESPITE temperatures reportedly rising in the multi-party committee climate change talks on a carbon tax between the Gillard government and the Greens, temperatures outside federal parliament are plummeting. The Bureau of Meteorology is forecasting a cold front through southeastern NSW, with blizzard conditions and destructive winds to hit the capital. Strewth wonders whether the icy environment has arrived just in time to mark the first anniversary of Julia Gillard's knifing of Kevin Rudd? With damaging winds forecast to tear through Canberra and the big chill in the air, it is fortunate Rudd cancelled his so-called "assassination party" tomorrow to mark 12 months since he was toppled as PM. Surely a repeat performance of last year's hijinks, where partygoers ended up being thrown in the pool, would have resulted in hypothermia.