Sex in the Senate

AS much fun as we had getting sex into parliament (Strewth, Saturday), we've been having more fun with the addition of facts.

AS much fun as we had getting sex into parliament (Strewth, Saturday), we've been having more fun with the addition of facts.

They're courtesy of Bernie Harris, a former chief Hansard reporter, and David Hawkes, who've been in touch to let us know the incident referred to involved neither speaker Joan Child nor the House of Representatives. Instead, it took place in the swill chamber, when the big chair was occupied by West Australian Labor senator Ruth Coleman. Hawkes even has a recording of the incident. Over to Harris: "Late in the sitting evening, when the Senate was on the adjournment motion, senator Michael Townley from Tasmania received the call from the chair. He bumbled through identifying the occupant of the chair [well, it was late] by saying: 'I would like to take this opportunity, Madam chair, chairlady or chairperson, or whatever you are . . .' Coleman put an end to his misery by saying: 'Chair, thank you, thank you. Madam Chair will do very nicely, I don't have any sex when I'm in this position.' Her comment immediately sent more than a ripple of laughter through the chamber. Hansard did not report the exchange. However, next morning the AM program, hosted by Robert Peach (Bill Peach's cousin), played the item. Coleman enjoyed the sudden fame but was annoyed Hansard did not show the comments." Understandably.

Quick on the draw

WE may just start paying more attention to prophetic powers and/or accidental hexes from our politicians. Take Julia Gillard at the AFL grand final breakfast: "Please, please, we cannot have another draw. The nation just couldn't bear it. Australians deserve a result today." Then there was South Australian Liberal senator Simon Birmingham: "In light of the tortuous election outcome, is there any chance of lightning striking twice this year with a draw in tomorrow's grand final?" (Incidentally, at that AFL breakfast, Julie Bishop used a footy analogy to claim Labor got fewer votes; someone should let the Australian Electoral Commission know, as it appears to have the wrong numbers up on its website.)

Grand but not final

MELBURNIANS flying in QF9 to Singapore from Melbourne on Saturday might not have been as upset as others when the flight was delayed. It had been due to leave at 3.30pm, in the middle of the AFL grand final. Qantas initially kept people on board, turning on the entertainment system and opening the bar to keep them happy. But then passengers were offloaded in time for the cliffhanger fourth quarter. The delay was apparently the result of a suspect relay and nothing to do with any anguished but overly proactive footy fans.

Bestest foot forward

BOB Hawke is becoming something of a regular among the workforce at the Sydney Opera House. Late last year, as part of his extended 80th birthday celebrations, he donned tails and conducted a 500-voice choir and orchestra during a performance of the Hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah. Yesterday he was at Guillaume's at Bennelong, in chef's whites and toiling in the kitchen, helping Guillaume Brahimi whip up lunch for Ian Thorpe, a handful of corporate leaders and a brace of the nation's top chefs, including Tony Bilson and Neil Perry. It sounded scrumptious (though we can't help wondering whether "roasted winter white river veal" is another way of telling us some zoo's just thinned out its hippo collection). And happily, it was in aid of children's charity Bestest (bestest.org.au). As His Bobness declared: "I've dined with the Queen of England, Ronald Reagan and Nelson Mandela, but sitting here with my 'Bestest' friends knowing we've helped almost 3500 kids in need gives me the greatest satisfaction of all." Aww.

Old favourites

READERS of Fairfax's West Australian portal are a sentimental bunch. No 1 on its list of top five stories yesterday was: "Convicted drug dealer tells of Corby smuggling racket"; we clicked on it to discover how one goes about smuggling a Corby, only to find the story was dated July 13, 2008. (And no, no Corby-smuggling advice was proffered.) No 2 is "Naked pair in fatal car crash", and while this is more in keeping with the overall flavour of the top five, it's from November 2008. No 3, "Ugly scenes at swingers' resort as nudists war over dress code", is a tad more recent, having been posted in March 2009, while No 4, "Truckies target underage girls for sex", is from mid-2008. Then, almost as an oversight, a travel piece on Beirut ("Middle East meets West") dates from Saturday. Incidentally, the name of the website is WA Today.

Rein dislodged

WE noted last Tuesday Therese Rein's apparent reluctance to let go of the glittering past, unlike her UN-bestriding husband. On the document filed with the Australian Securities and Investments Commission regarding her company Ingeus, Rein's home address had remained unchanged as the Lodge. Then by supreme coincidence, on the day we ran the item, Rein changed the address. Nice to have been of service.

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