Scott Morrison gets tough in Apocalypse Nowra

Once in a while there’s a flicker of fight in the Coalition. Yesterday Scott Morrison flared his nostrils and got stuck in.

The friendly but fatal Scott Morrison arm on Malcolm Turnbull last August. Picture Kym Smith

There are days when the federal Coalition feels as if it has gone beyond merely accepting it is going to cop a hiding at the election, and ascended into curiosity — more scientific than morbid — about how much it could lose by. What are the limits? How far can the envelope be pushed? How many seats can it lose before it becomes anti-matter? But once in a while there’s a flicker of fight. Such as yesterday in the NSW south coast electorate of Gilmore, where Scott Morrison stepped in front of the cameras with the air of Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore flaring his nostrils wide to cram in as much of napalm’s aroma as possible — Apocalypse Nowra, if you will. His spirits sufficiently pumped, he got stuck into Bill Shorten, the no-longer Gilmore candidate and political correctness. He spoke up for “quiet Australians” who pay their taxes and raise their families rather than getting mouthy on Twitter. (Special Strewth note: has anyone seen our kids?) He reminisced about standing near the very same spot last year and putting his arm around the shoulders of Ann Sudmalis, the member for Gilmore who subsequently pulled the pin. When you think about what tends to happen after a friendly ScoMo arm — Malcolm Turnbull version pictured — you’d be wise to give them a wide berth. Luckily he resisted doing it to freshly parachuted-in candidate Warren Mundine and instead invited everyone to have a Captain Cook. “Give him a good listen,” the Prime Minister suggested, then coined a new phrase: “Give him a good hear.” Feargal Sharkey may have very nearly sung “a good hear these days is hard to find”, but then he never went to Nowra.

Variety show

It was way back in the mists of just over three weeks ago that candidate Mundine hopped on Twitter — in a quiet and not at all mouthy way — to reply to some folks: “Fact: I’m not a member nor have been a member of the Liberal Party. Before making false allegations get your facts right.” While some have seized on this as proof of, er, something, there’s ample evidence that this is not a barrier of any sort. After all, Brendan “I have never voted Liberal in my life” Nelson became the party’s leader. For a bit.

Thoughts and Pres

The opposition leader is on his own mission on the Mundine front. Tuesday found him in this exchange.

Journo: “Mr Shorten, what are your thoughts on Warren Mundine running for the Liberal seat of Gilmore?”

Shorten: “Well, he was unsuccessful in the Labor Party.”

We trust ALP president Wayne Swan isn’t in any way slighted by this measure of success. Anyway, the journey continued yesterday.

Journo: “The new Liberal candidate for the seat of Gilmore is a former national president of your party … you’d have to admit that the new candidate needs to be a pretty competent person in light of that?”

Shorten: “Sorry?”

Journo: “Doesn’t the fact that they have been the national president of your party speak highly of their competency?”

Shorten: “Well, when someone’s a Labor Party representative, I think their values and policies for Australia are very good.”

No prizes for guessing how the rest of it went.

Flying bunny

There were other matters for the Labor posse to deal with at Queensland’s Keppel Bay Marina. For instance, marina owner Richard Wilson liberated Anthony Albanese’s Rabbitohs cap and threw it into the distance so he could park on Albo’s bonce a cap promoting his business. “Russell Crowe will be giving you a call, mate,” Albo told him. “Don’t worry, he’s very calm.”

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