Rum's the word

JUST when you thought it was looking exciting enough in Queensland's Liberal National Party, new "interim" leader Jeff Seeney has managed to lift things that crucial bit closer to the truly cutting edge.

JUST when you thought it was looking exciting enough in Queensland's Liberal National Party, new "interim" leader Jeff Seeney has managed to lift things that crucial bit closer to the truly cutting edge.

Known for his rural, knockabout ways, Seeney had this exchange with the press gallery on the topic of who he might take advice from on the shadow cabinet: "I can tell you that when I stand around the bar at the Goomeri Show on a Saturday afternoon, I will get lots of advice." Inquired one hack: "And rum?" Replied Seeney: "Yes, and I will get more advice the more rum there is." Then he was asked what would happen if there was an issue and he was out in the country, drinking rum. The answer: "When I'm drinking rum, someone else will be doing the job, doesn't matter where I am drinking rum." If William Bligh happens to get sent back to earth, he'll at least feel like he's on familiar ground.

Fiery meltdown

AS it pressed its front page into service to plug tonight's Earth Hour (if "plug" is an acceptable verb in this electricity-free instance), The Sydney Morning Herald finally succeeded where global warming hasn't: it melted the North Pole. The main image was of a pair of hands holding an Earth-shaped candle, but alas, the wick was well alight and, thanks to the flame of hope ("A chance to shine", as the Herald had it) the Arctic had melted completely away, leaving nothing but a gaping, waxy hole and more than a hint of trouble for Canada. The poor old polar bears never stood a chance.

Flying united

THE idea was to fly a couple of planeloads of journos to the Nullarbor early yesterday morning to cover South Australian Premier Mike Rann declaring a 900,000ha wilderness protection area. On one of the planes, unfortunately, the pilot's door blew out 10 minutes into the flight. As The Advertiser reported: "Cameraman John Sever said on his Facebook page that he had to hold the door closed while the pilot made an emergency landing. The aircraft got back in the air for a second attempt to get to Ceduna but the plane's generators failed, leaving it without lights. 'Flew back by torch light with a full emergency landing, fire engines chasing us down the runway,' Sever says." The real gold, though, is the magisterial understatement of the following line: "The media crews declined the offer of a third attempt." That story's author was The Advertiser's veteran political reporter, Greg Kelton, who was on the other plane with the ABC's Nick Harmsen and a photographer. Kelton says his seat was shaking violently, but then the pilot announced they had to turn back to collect the journos from the other plane. But upon landing, all the journos decided against any more airborne adventures. In the meantime, while airline Air South cranked out a pre-emptive press release to reassure all that "the emergency landing involved another airline", Rann was left to make the announcement without media attendance. As he tweeted: "Beautiful morning here in Ceduna."

A rare Scotsman

WHEN Scottish guitarist Tony McManus performed at Notes in inner Sydney's Enmore this week, he informed the audience the tune he was about to play, The Hero, had been composed by James Scott Skinner, who is something of a rarity: a Scottish extrovert. "In Scotland," McManus explained, "an extrovert is someone who looks at your shoes when you're talking to them."

Global fear

WE'VE had some fun this week with a few of the more pungent sentiments expressed at the anti-carbon tax rally. But now for a little visit to the flipside with reader Steve McGregor. Sorry, no punchlines in this one: "I drove down from Sydney to Canberra to attend the rally. None of the five of us in the car were fascists, One Nation Party rejects, right-wing activists or whatever. I am a financial planner with about 30 years' experience and really concerned what effect an additional tax will have on my clients. Most of my clients are retirees and are feeling the pinch. For example, their portfolios are down 30 per cent or so due to the world 'meltdown' and their income is badly affected. Most of us are aware of the glaciers retreating and much more, and realise that climate is fluctuating and changing. I spoke to a few people near me in the crowd. Most said they had never attended a meeting of this kind in their lives before. The crowd looked like a bunch of middle-aged to older Aussies all frightened at the government's seemingly unfeeling attitude to their plight; of increasing living costs and the like."

It's only natural

WE once knew someone who kept tiger snakes and, regrettably, was in the habit of feeding them live mice, timing with a stopwatch how long it took from snakebite to rodent expiry. While it's not an approach we generally condone, we do plan to emulate it tonight in the NSW election, with stopwatch at the ready from the moment polls close to the moment - roughly 60 seconds or so later - Labor keels over. It's sad, it's cruel but hey, it's only natural.

James Jeffrey