Rudd's spicy spam hit

PUTTING words in Kevin Rudd's mouth could be characterised as something of a coals-to-Newcastle activity, but that hasn't stopped a spam artist in Britain.

PUTTING words in Kevin Rudd's mouth could be characterised as something of a coals-to-Newcastle activity, but that hasn't stopped a spam artist in Britain.

An email containing what purports to be the transcript of a Rudd speech has been circulating in Blighty, attracting followers so exhilarated by its, erm, robust tone, they're keen to move here. Obviously they haven't spent time listening to Kev. Imagine him coming out with this: "Immigrants, not Australians, must adapt. Take it or leave it." Or this: "This is our country, our land, and our lifestyle, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag, our pledge, our Christian beliefs, or our way of life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, the right to leave." An obvious fake: a whole speech and there isn't a "Can I say" or "neo-liberal scumbags" in sight.

Kyle update: still a tool

DESPITE waiting feverish with anticipation that Kyle Sandilands would win his way back into our hearts by revealing he suffered from a life-long thinking disability, our hopes have been cruelly dashed yet again.

A sorry state of affairs

IT isn't always easy being Greens, especially in NSW, where Greens MP Ian Cohen burst into the ABC's state parliament studio yesterday when he discovered his colleague Lee Rhiannon commenting on the promotion of John Robertson to Environment Minister. The exchange, which sets a rather sweet example to the more apology-resistant elements of our political elite, went as follows:

Cohen: "I am the environment spokesperson. It would have been great if you could have had me do it, you know. I can't believe the press release you just put out."

Rhiannon: "Sorry."

Shaded by the son

STREWTH was taken by the Catch-22 flavour of a Tasmanian government press release issued, we are informed, by "Lara Giddings, MP, Acting Acting Acting Premier". Meanwhile, spare a thought for Tassie Liberal leader Will Hodgman, who yesterday had to dump his dad - Michael Hodgman - from the opposition frontbench. Hodgman the younger had long been expected to find room for newly elected upper house Liberal MP Vanessa Goodwin. A criminologist, Goodwin was ideally suited to the justice and attorney-general portfolio. But this meant pushing aside Hodgman senior. Hodgman the younger gave his dad the veterans' affairs portfolio as a consolation prize.

Joe gets Burke fan base

THERE always was a certain allure about Joe Hockey, but now that he's a volcano-climbing dissident Twitterer, he's attracting disciples from the unlikeliest quarters. Among them is Agriculture Minister Tony Burke, who joined Kilimanjaro Joe, Mikey Robins and the Chaser's Chris Taylor in a White Ribbon Foundation dinner debate, where he revealed: "I went to Facebook and somewhere on Joe's page, if he loads it up he will see Tony Burke has applied to be your friend. But fortunately it doesn't have to apply on Twitter. Twitter has this wonderful thing where you don't have 'friends', you have 'followers'. So as of a week ago, I became your follower."

Rush to condemn

WHILE we suffer under the tyranny of Medicare, it's good to see conservative broadcaster Rush Limbaugh battling universal health care in the US. His latest contribution was to express his delight after Republican Joe Wilson called Barack Obama a liar during the President's healthcare speech to a joint sitting of the US Congress. To celebrate, let's crunch some numbers; Limbaugh's annual salary translated into Australian dollars: $43.9million. Number of Americans without health insurance: 46.3million. How very nearly perfectly coincidental. But not quite. Drat.