Rudd to rescue

ONCE we were assured Kevin Rudd wasn't part of a looting party, we did get a kick watching that footage of him lugging a suitcase on his head along a flooded street in Brisbane's Norman Park.

We're confident that with practice, he'll soon be able to carry a whole pile balanced carefully on his bonce, no hands required. That said, we're not sure how he'd go with his balance if he knew the street he was wading along - Gillan Street - was once home to Albert Patrick Field, one of the Labor Party's great pantheon of rats. (For those not familiar with the emotional workings of Labor, this is a bit like being consigned to that part of the Liberal heart reserved for Malcolm Fraser.) Field was the anti-Whitlam ALP member who had himself plucked from obscurity in 1975 by then Queensland premier Joh Bjelke-Petersen to fill a senate vacancy, bypassing Labor's preferred candidate (future pantheon member Mal Colston) and helping precipitate the events that led to the dismissal of the Whitlam government. Field, who would go on to join the Nationals, was philosophical about being labelled a turncoat and a rat: "They are awful things to call someone [but] I suppose in a way, I am." All that said, we're reasonably sure there wasn't anything even remotely symbolic about a former Labor leader in Field's street, weighed down by someone else's baggage.

Walking on water

THE sight of Rudd walking in water (if not quite on it) did bring forth one miracle, courtesy of News Limited columnist Piers Akerman. Shorn of its many nuances, Akerman's consistent stance on the former PM could perhaps be condensed as: "I disliked him before he was unpopular." Yet yesterday, he said something almost positive: "Even [Julia Gillard's] predecessor Kevin Rudd has appeared looking as natural as it is possible for him to be, wading through the water and pitching in. Again, the contrast between Gillard and Rudd has given the ALP cause to wonder at the wisdom of its leadership." A little backhanded, but a thing of surprise and beauty, nonetheless. No signs of hesitation whatsoever from Mia Freedman, however, who has taken late onset adoration of Queensland Premier Anna Bligh to new heights on her Mamamia blog: "It's hard to find enough superlatives to describe Anna Bligh right now. I want her to be my mum and my prime minister and my best friend. I want to sit in front of my TV and just watch her talk because with every sentence, she manages to strike an extraordinary balance of compassion and calm and heartbreak and resolve." Blimey. After all that Labor love, we feel we ought to mention we wait anxiously for every one of Barnaby Joyce's lyrical press releases; we're just not sure we can compete with the power of Freedman's ardour, so we'll leave it at that.

Without a paddle

THE floods have also yielded the odd mystery, such as the one that enveloped the office of Queensland Transport Minister and member for Ipswich, Rachel Nolan, when an email came in asking whether she'd lost an orange canoe. Nolan is better known more as an enthusiast of the pedal than the paddle, so it took some serious head-scratching before the penny dropped. Several years ago, Nolan christened a canoe built by students at Bremer State High School in her electorate; her name is emblazoned on its bow. The canoe was found on the banks of the Brisbane River near Kingsford Smith Drive, about 40km from where it was stored at Karana Downs. Meanwhile, the good ships Paul Pisasale (Ipswich Lord Mayor), David Hamill (former state treasurer) and Andrew Antoniolli (Ipswich councillor) are believed to be still adrift on the wide brown yonder. As for the one that didn't get away, Nolan's office tells Strewth arrangements have been made to return it to the school.

Adult education

EDUCATIONAL headline of the week, courtesy of The Sydney Morning Herald: "Adultery in the marital bed a fast-track to divorce."

Someone's cross

AS a left-leaning paper, Britain's The Guardian prides itself on its compassion, except when it comes to Australia and the Ashes. Indeed, The Guardian is flogging T-shirts that feature an Australia-shaped St George's Cross, with the score of each test placed callously next to the site of each atrocity. The gloating is also available in mug form (by which we mean a drinking vessel). Bastards. Sorry, we meant to say: fair cop. It just came out wrong.

Globe-totters

GIVEN that the question of how many people it takes to change a lightbulb has been canvassed extensively, it's perhaps time to move on and ask: how many people does it take to count them? It appears the answer is three if you're in federal Parliament House, where we hear a modest yet comprehensive team - a security guard, a consultant, and a member of Parliament House building services - has been assigned to the task of what should surely be known as globe-totting. This has been a presentation of Strewth's Light Entertainment Unit.