Roo the day

THERE was only one real disappointment in the social media debacle that Qantas brought upon itself yesterday.

THERE was only one real disappointment in the social media debacle that Qantas brought upon itself yesterday.

For those of you yet to read Nic Christensen's sober assessment in the news pages, it began when the Sporadically Flying Kangaroo's Twitter team -- who appear to be unfamiliar with the stand-up comedian's refrain of "Too soon?" -- started a competition in which the glittering prize was a pair of Qantas pyjamas: "To enter tell us 'What is your dream luxury inflight experience? (Be creative!) Answer must include #QantasLuxury." And creative is precisely what entrants were, taking a wide range of approaches. There was the practical: "#Qantasluxury is a nice pair of shoes, so I can walk across the terminal to another company that is still flying". The poignant: "#qantasluxury was being abandoned at Heathrow for four days in the snow with no customer support while trying to get home to eight-months pregnant wife". The below-the-belt: "How do you know you have #QantasLuxury PJs? The PJs don't have a fly". And so on. And on. And on. Qantas tried responding gamely: "At this rate our #QantasLuxury competition is going to take years to judge." Amusing, but it didn't soften that one disappointment: among the 20 or so furlongs of remorseless -- and clearly therapeutic -- piss-taking, one or two people replied in earnest.

Festival of the boot

SPEAKING of disappointments, we gather there was some sense of letdown after Tony Abbott's speech to the Sydney Institute on Monday night. Despite being blessed with what may have been characterised as a receptive audience keen to hear what a Coalition government might do, the Iron Monk spent most of his speech putting the boot into Labor before getting around to touching slightly on future plans. Our field agent reports that the applause offered by the audience -- consisting of more than a few conservative movers and shakers -- was "muted". And that's despite Abbott having delivered some of his greatest hits, including: "We will end Labor's toxic taxes." Asked by the audience following his speech why it was the vast majority of his words had focused on putting the shiv into the government rather than outline any new initiatives, Abbott said the Coalition stood on its record. When he concluded his answer to a question about a national disabilities scheme with "I know I am disappointing you", his questioner replied, "Yes, you are." Happily, Abbott performed so much better yesterday during the special luncheon for Prince Frederik and Princess Mary. To Mary he ventured the following thought: "It's pretty good, if I may say so, Your Highness, for a girl from Taroona High School in Hobart. Much better, if I may say so, than has been achieved by your fellow Taroona High School graduate: senator Eric Abetz."

Slow baked

IN her own speech to the royal couple, Julia Gillard gushed harder than a bombed oceanarium, but at least she didn't deploy anything along the lines of Monday's "value-add in our traditional roles" (Strewth, yesterday). We're still not sure what this small abomination means, but reader Judi Cox wonders, "Does Julia mean to value-add to our traditional rolls maybe, and have something to do with getting more dough for our daily bread?" Correspondence on this topic is now closed.

Call of the riled

A HANDFUL of years back, when US telemarketers were doing battle against the country's Do Not Call Register, Miami Herald humourist Dave Barry published the American Teleservices Association's phone number and cheerily exhorted his many readers to give them a bell: "I'm sure they'd love to hear your constitutionally protected views! Be sure to wipe your mouthpiece afterward." So eagerly was this suggestion taken up that the ATA killed off the phone line. Barry found another number and published it as well. Dissident Chinese artist Ai Weiwei seems to be going down a vaguely similar route this week, posting on Twitter the mobile numbers of an editor, blogger, journalist and professor he felt had done him wrong during his imprisonment. The phones have been busy.

Spellin' of Troy

THERE are some names, such as a handful of Irish ones, that are not pronounced the way they are written. However, our new colleague Troy Bramston's is not one of them. We just thought we'd mention this for the benefit of the host of ABC program The Drum , who on Monday spoke of him as "former Kevin Rudd speechwriter and Labor historian Tom Brayston". We are here to help.

A friend with reed

A STREWTH field agent was striding purposefully along Sydney's Oxford Street when he heard the sweet strains of a clarinet: "I thought it was a busker but on closer inspection it was a bloke with wrap-around sunnies and a shaved head, behind the wheel of a tow-truck belting out a bit of early morning jazz." As good as the music was, our agent insists the best part of the whole spectacle was the horrified look on the face of the young apprentice in the passenger seat.

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