Ran the wrong race

FOR a moment, it looked as though publicist Max Markson had taken PR into an exciting new realm.

FOR a moment, it looked as though publicist Max Markson had taken PR into an exciting new realm.

On Tuesday, he put out a characteristically breathless press release: "The fastest man on the planet Usain Bolt is hitting Australia! ... During the month of November Usain will be available for commercial and endorsement opportunities, speaking engagements, media interviews and personal appearances. Get in first and secure 'superman' Usain NOW!" Speaking of fast, Markson was swiftly in receipt of an email from Bolt's agent Ricky Simms: "Usain does not plan to 'hit' Australia in November and all bookings for commercial and endorsement opportunities should be made to his manager, Norman Peart and-or me his agent, Ricky Simms. I would ask you to retract the press release and please let me know why you are pitching our client without authorisation." Had Markson found a way to anticipate publicity requests clairvoyantly? No, just a case of crossed wires, according to Markson, who assured Strewth he'd arranged things in London with Bolt's commercial agent Chris Nathaniel.

On the air raves
RANN government minister Patrick Conlon took offence during a talkback radio segment yesterday on ABC Adelaide 8912's morning program. When co-host David Bevan raised the sensitive matter of the sale of a city racecourse to housing developers, the state Transport, Energy and Infrastructure Minister had a meltdown, insisting "if you really wanted an answer to these things you could tell me that you want to talk about them in advance". He continued to berate Bevan, suggesting they not "play silly political ambush games" and at one point claiming the question was only asked because Conlon's good mate, lobbyist Nick Bolkus, "made fun of you" . "Is this ... what it's about? I mean, Nick made fun of your program once, get over it," Conlon raged. He was told Aunty was "not in the business of submitting a list of questions to our government ministers". Herbal tea, anyone?

Shop-a-Horlicks
SPEAKING of Adelaide, West Australian Premier Colin Barnett got in some gratuitous barbs while arguing for the introduction of weeknight shopping in Perth: "This is not dramatic change. I mean, even Adelaide has weeknight shopping, you know; this is getting embarrassing."

Getting his teeth into it
ERIC Abetz may have managed the feat of making Penny Wong laugh during his renewable energy speech in the Senate yesterday, but his more lasting work arguably came a short time later when he mused on how he would be able to legally fell trees if he were a beaver. It's an image we may never be able to erase.

Little nippers
ICKY line of the day yesterday was courtesy Tasmania's commissioner for children Paul Mason, who drew attention to the fact that while girls are legally protected from genital surgery, any parent leaning toward male circumcision could "go around willy-nilly chopping up bits of their sons". We thought that expression ought to be used only when circumcisions go wrong, as in: Willy? Nilly. Disclosure: Strewth does not endorse the snip, but we just can't find a way to make "tantamount to child abuse" sound sufficiently amusing.

Figure of speech
AMID the excitement wrought by the news that Bob Ellis and his unique brand of wordsmithery have been pressed into action by NSW Premier Nathan Rees, Strewth wondered whether his Bobness had already started. Then on Tuesday night, Rees gave a speech at the Eureka Awards, comparing those who question climate change to "appeasers" of the Nazis; we decided the answer to our question was probably yep. So who could play Ellis to state Opposition Leader Barry O'Farrell? "We don't have a culture of great political speechwriting," O'Farrell mused to Strewth yesterday. "The more you listen to the PM, the more you realise it." (Whatever does he mean?) So, allowed to outsource, O'Farrell plumped for Ronald Reagan and George H.W.Bush's speechwriter Peggy Noonan, who also distinguished herself as a contributor to The West Wing.