Quick exit

WE were a little taken back that within hours of our only less-than-entirely-positive comments about John Faulkner (Strewth, yesterday), he resigned.

John Faulkner greets Australian Defence Association executive director Neil James

WE were a little taken back that within hours of our only less-than-entirely-positive comments about John Faulkner (Strewth, yesterday), he resigned.

Still, even if no mention was made of a long-ago-hinted-at SIEV X inquiry, it was a classy departure, albeit with a moment that perfectly balanced humour with terror. When Faulkner was asked about the possible contamination of federal Labor by the methods of Sussex Street-based NSW Labor, he replied, "I thought Sussex Street had been in Canberra for yonks." For a proper appreciation of Faulkner's aura of authority, what readers whose mental faculties have been distorted by Star Wars may regard as the power of the Faulks, examine this photo (at right) from yesterday of Australian Defence Association executive director Neil James, who appears to be meeting the pope.

No own vote

COME the federal election, one thing Julia Gillard won't get to do is put a 1 next to her name. The member for Lalor (whose first speech as Prime Minister would have given so much more of a sense of political symmetry if only she'd made some reference to the fork in the Rudd) lives in the neighbouring electorate of Gellibrand. Still, voting for Nicola Roxon will provide very nearly the same frisson of excitement, we're sure. Meanwhile, Strewth reader Chris Smith has, while visiting Britain, made a brief detour to Gillard's Welsh home town of Barry; if nothing else, this illustrates the high level of political engagement we've come to expect of Strewth readers. Smith reports, "The leader board of the local rag still shrieks, BARRY GIRL AUSSIE PM." Smith also provides us with two succinct descriptions of Barry - not so much pen portraits as cyber mugshots - of which "gritty place" is easily the more printable. And hygienic.

When life's a drag

FAR from Barry, Julia Gillard was in Darwin, being illuminated by broadcaster Julia Christensen. Christensen: "You're not in favour of gay marriage, but a local gay nightclub has already held a Julia Gillard tribute night . . . Complete with drag queens impersonating your good self. Are you honoured?"

Gillard: "Well, I'm sure that that's a form of flattery. I'd like to see some of the photographs. Maybe they could get sent in?"

Be prepared

WHILE Gillard goes head to head with Tony Abbott in the slogan slugfest, federal Labor MP Mike Symon appears to have popped unexpectedly into the lead. Visit his nascent website www.mikesymon.com.au and you'll be greeted with this cheeringly optimistic message in bold, red capitals: NEARLY READY. Less laxative than "move forward" and altogether wieldier than "great big new tax", it appears Symon has captured the zeitgeist. The explanation in smaller print - "80 per cent complete! I've got the code done, pages done; just need to finish the Mysql database" - does little to dull its sparkle. The same can't be said for the Coalition's response to the Building the Education Revolution, which has been lumbered with the verse-length title, The Coalition's Real Action Plan to Stop Labor's School Hall Waste and Provides a Schools Building Boost. On the plus side, it can be shortened to CRAPSLSHWPSBB (which may be a drunken curse and-or a town in Wales), and allows us to speculate that Kevin Rudd has made his wordsmithery available to the opposition.

Eumundi prophecy

FOLLOWING our recent item about Collingwood super-fan Joffa and his duo of correct predictions on George Megalogenis's blog, revue writer John Burls has got in touch about the prescience of his show: "Australia's longest running annual topical revue, Up Eumundi Road, staged in Eumundi [Queensland], predicted Julia Gillard's ascendancy last November-December. In a segment called Canberra's Got Talent, it featured a Gillard look-alike singing Kevin, Watch Out Kevin, with lyrics a la 'I aim to be Australia's first female prime minister and I'm coming to get you, quick smart'. Can anyone beat eight months?" A solid effort, but we still give it to Joffa on points for nailing the mining tax as well.

Peter's lament

WHICH former prime minister did Peter Costello really have in mind when he was writing this almost rueful line for Fairfax Media? "A leadership switch gives a government the chance to bury its mistakes. In this case the idea is not just to bury the mistakes of Rudd - the mining tax, the insulation batts, the blowout in the deficit - but to bury Rudd himself." Send your answers to John Howard Competition, c/o Strewth at the address below.