Petrel bombs

THERE hasn't been much humour inspired by the London riots, so far. Even Britain's newspaper cartoons are understandably mournful.

THERE hasn't been much humour inspired by the London riots, so far. Even Britain's newspaper cartoons are understandably mournful.

But a marvellous touch of levity has appeared on YouTube in which a shifty seagull walks through the door of a looted shop, looks around, snatches a packet of chips -- could have been Cheezels -- and makes good its getaway. Should this seagull be named and shamed? It was definitely an opportunistic crime, but perhaps the bird should be admired for its contribution towards a fairer distribution of goods in British society, a line that can already be faintly detected among hand-wringers trying to justify the behaviour of the poor and dispossessed. For an Australian take on the funny side of the gull's crime, we turn to the cartoonist for The Daily Telegraph, Warren Brown: "Clearly, he's taken a tern for the worse. Next thing he'll be using petrel bombs."

England rapped

THE riots in England have created an opportunity for pop celebrities to justify their pampered existence. Annie Lennox has gone on Facebook to say the "mindless mayhem" is a "social cancer" that has been growing for years, and on Twitter frontman for American hip-hop band Black Eyed Peas, will.i.am (speak to his agent), has issued a plea to rioters to desist. British rockers Kaiser Chiefs and singer Kate Nash have joined the clean-up. Jessie J is there with a cast on her broken foot: "I really don't understand . . . I don't get it! Why destroy your own community? Why hurt innocent people. This is NOT how to gain respect. This is NOT how to get justice. This is NOT how to gain peace. Am I in a film or real life? Wtf is this going to achieve?" American rap mogul Russell Simmons is thinking of flying in to talk sense into the mobs.

Beyond question

AT an American Chamber of Commerce lunch in Melbourne in June, Australian Financial Review journo Mark Skulley was barred from asking a question and made to sit quietly at the back while AmCham guests ate and drank. When questions from the floor ran dry, Skulley took the chance to say he had been censored and reminded the chamber about the US position on freedom of the press and the constitution's first amendment. Yesterday at AmCham's Sydney lunch, with BHP Billiton chairman Jac Nasser on the bill, AmCham again told the media to stand down during questions. But with Nasser refusing to do a doorstop afterwards, The Australian's economics editor Michael Stutchbury took his chance, telling the assembly he was the guest of a paying member before proceeding with a question.

In fond memory

CELEBRATED crime reporter Les Kennedy has died aged 53, a tragedy for his family and his many mates in the media. Up for auction at a fund-raiser in Sydney last night was a rare tie collection from three crime cases dear to Les's heart: North Shore Murder Task Force tie (granny-killer investigation); Task Force Oak tie (Victor Chang murder) and Task Force Air tie (backpacker killer). The ties were donated by Detective Inspector Paul Jacobs. There were many other lovely prizes including a signed copy of Sins of the Brother, the story of the backpacker murders by Les and Mark Whittaker and a poster of a Telegraph-Mirror story: "Does Killer Dress as Granny?". Perhaps the best prize is the chance to be represented by Winston Terracini, SC, if you ever find yourself on a murder charge.

Emmo the virtuoso

TALENTED Trade Minister Craig Emerson is in Shanghai doing his bit for trade relations. After some pleasantries, Emmo made "a special mention" of Mr Feng from MofCom . . . "It is my pleasure to inform you that today is Mr Feng's birthday. And in a departure from established protocols, I wish to sing a song for you for Mr Feng." Whereupon Elvis Emmo sang happy birthday, a brave effort and one that must have delighted the Chinese.

Untrue story

A CHARMING lawyer who for many years acted for Nancy Wake, heroine of the French Resistance during World War II and who died on Sunday aged 98, has been in touch to correct our obituary on this page in Tuesday's paper. The obituary said that Prince Charles had helped pay Nancy's London hotel bills where she had been living in 2003. In fact, he did not help pay her bills: the story was planted by someone in Chas's office who had wanted to get some good publicity for his boss at a time when his popularity in Britain had slipped a bit: something to do with his relationship with Camilla Parker-Bowles, apparently. The untrue story duly appeared in an agency report and was carefully filed by The Australian for use when it was time to write Nancy's obituary. Unfortunately, the story that Prince Charles had been helping pay Nancy's hotel bills had the effect of reducing the generosity of her many friends and admirers. But we can report that the Prince did buy Nancy a smart new television set so that she could watch the rugby, which, having been born in New Zealand, was probably wired into her genes.