Peace no chance

THERE was something about the vision of the Dalai Lama and Peter Slipper yesterday, sitting side by side in the gallery and smiling beatifically upon the House of Representatives, that left us feeling pleasantly winded, as though we'd just been trampled by a stampede of unicorns.

THERE was something about the vision of the Dalai Lama and Peter Slipper yesterday, sitting side by side in the gallery and smiling beatifically upon the House of Representatives, that left us feeling pleasantly winded, as though we'd just been trampled by a stampede of unicorns.

And, for the fleetingest of moments, it made the world harmonious. It didn't last, of course, and as such mirrored an episode earlier in the day when Craig Emerson and Peter Dutton got the love happening on Sky News' AM Agenda. After the introductory pleasantries, the Trade Minister turned to the opposition spokesman:

Emerson: "Didn't I just see you in the gym?"

Dutton: "You are running late

for that reason, I presume?"

Emerson: "I was running on the spot."

Dutton: "You obviously worked . . . you obviously worked a bit harder than I did."

And verily, the studio rang with joy and laughter. Yet, as swiftly as it would later in the house, the saffron-robed moment crumbled away, leaving Emmo and Dutto to return to regular programming:

Emerson: "And you know what your greatest fear . . ."

Dutton: "They know, like Australians do, that this is a debacle."

Emerson: "Peter, your greatest fear . . ."

Dutton: "Your government is a debacle, Craig, that's the problem."

Emerson: ". . . is that the Malaysian solution will stop the boats. That's your greatest fear because then you'll have nothing to whinge about."

On a happy note, no one busted a poofle/foofer/pooper valve.

On the menu today

CONGRATULATIONS to former the Daily Telegraph editor Garry Linnell on his new gig as national editor at Fairfax Media, where he'll be reporting to Jack Matthews. Given Linnell's celebrated 2008 Olympics piece on eating animal penises, we hope at the very least he makes some suggestions for The Saturday Age's lunch series; even the great can do with reinvigoration.

Just a theory

THE ABC's Q&A got pranked on Monday night when an audience member pretending to be a climate-change sceptic posed a question to federal MP Peter Garrett. James Brechney, 27, asked: "I'm not a climate scientist, but climate change is still disputed by experts. Why are we teaching it in schools as a scientific fact? Shouldn't we be following the UK's lead and bringing science back to basics in the classroom?" He later interjected to say climate change was "just a theory, like gravity". Brechney said he was trying to make a point about how "extreme questions still get treated as legitimate by the news media". Q&A's Peter McEvoy said Brechney's comment on gravity had been made off-the-cuff:

"We wouldn't have chosen a question in advance that questioned gravity as 'just a theory' because we don't seek climate crazies or crazies of any type".

Got tie, got exclusive

GIVEN our pollies spend so much time fielding questions from the fourth estate (not necessarily answering them, but that's by the by), it's only fair to take the occasional question from them. Such as this from Labor MP Stephen Jones on Twitter during question time yesterday: "Bob Ellis has just been ejected from the press gallery in question time. Have you guys introduced a dress code?" There is a dress code and it's been around for donkeys (give or take a few asses), though it's been reinforced with greater vigour in recent times. While judging Ellis on his fashion makes roughly as much sense as judging the Milky Way on the standard of its recessed lighting, the harsh but simple equation for men is no tie, no question time. So it's just as well the Dalai Lama stuck to the public gallery.

Bid for breakfast

IT was like the first drop of rain falling on to the desert and signalling the end of the dry as someone finally made a bid on Bob Brown in the federal parliamentary press gallery's Midwinter Ball charity auction. By last night, bidding on dinner with Julia Gillard had reached $7600, ahead of Tony Abbott and Davis Cup champion John Alexander's tennis lesson on $4900, Wayne Swan's footy outing on $3000 (still just one bid), lunch or dinner with the men formerly known as the Three Amigos on $2425, and $455 for the PM's campaign blanket. You have until 5pm today to get to midwinterball.com.au and follow the eBay link. You'll feel good and charitable, if poorer.

Runners in a rush

SPEAKING of charity, a small but hopefully helpful suggestion to all those clipboard bearers from various good causes whose gauntlet one is obliged to run whenever stepping out into the city these days. When you see someone tearing along the footpath - their legs pumping at a clearly unaccustomed pace, their face alight with panic and signs of a possibly looming heart attack - refrain from stepping out into their path with your clipboard and asking, "Do you have a minute?" The sum of the world's happiness can only be increased.