Open invitation

MANY thoughts zinged through Strewth's brain during the Eurovision-esque opening of CHOGM yesterday, among them 'argh' and 'gack'.

MANY thoughts zinged through Strewth's brain during the Eurovision-esque opening of the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting yesterday, among them "argh" and "gack". (Space is restricted in there, so the thoughts had to be short.)

But there were special moments. The national anthem, for instance, was presented with one woman singing (nice voice, too) and another reading it slowly and deliberately. Guess whose voice was louder? (Hint: not the singer). Sadly, the speaker stopped and the choir took over before the awkward lyrics that underline why we rarely hear the second verse: "For those who've come across the seas / We've boundless plains to share." Happily, Malaysian PM Najib Razak and Nauruan President Marcus Stephen were in the audience, hopefully nodding in recognition.

Fight spit with fire

LAST Sunday morning, our colleague Peter van Onselen was a guest short for his Sky News show, Australian Agenda. Luckily, Anthony Albanese stepped in at the last minute to fill the gap. As he was leaving, he saw the next guest was The Daily Telegraph columnist Piers Akerman, whereupon Albo, known for his forays into comedy, said if he'd known he was the next guest, he would have "done a golly" in his water glass. Reflects van Onselen, "He had just finished a 20-minute live interview, so I think we can forgive a little loose attempted humour, can't we?" Not Akerman, who turned gollygate into a majestically sustained harrumph yesterday, complete with a forensic definition of golly, presented with the freshness of a new discovery. (Spookily, The Sydney Morning Herald's website was running this: "Are manners dead? Spitters, swearers . . . be warned: someone's coming after you.") Reflects Albo, "Piers takes himself too seriously, but I guess someone's got to." On the plus side, the article featured a cartoon of Albo that's bound to be a hit with protesters next time they march on Marrickville.

No Snowball effect

DURING Suncorp's annual general meeting in Brisbane this week, 300 pleasingly bohemian-looking people stood outside, protesting against what they claimed was outsourcing of some back-office functions. While indignant, they didn't seem to know much about what they were protesting against, and Suncorp chairman John Story and chief executive Patrick Snowball walked past without being recognised. "I don't know if that says more about them or us," Story told shareholders. The resourceful Finance Sector Union had simply visited the Occupy Brisbane tent city and rounded up the numbers.

Free as a word

AS reported in this organ, actor Noni Hazlehurst this week gave a cracker of speech in defence of actors. Alas, she got cross at The Australian for putting the speech online and demanded it be removed on the grounds permission had not been sought and that she wanted to use it for her own purposes down the track. A modest Strewth suggestion: if you want to keep your words to yourself, don't share them in public. We hope this helps.