No fake tan man

EVER since his chicken impersonation last month, Small Business Minister Craig Emerson's radio appearances have tended to fill Strewth with a giddy anticipation.

EVER since his chicken impersonation last month, Small Business Minister Craig Emerson's radio appearances have tended to fill Strewth with a giddy anticipation.

Sometimes, the anticipation is even justified, such as yesterday on Canberra's 2CC, when presenter Mark Parton relayed this message from a listener: " `Can you ask Craig if he goes to a solarium? He always seems so tanned.' " Replied Emmo: "No, I don't. I do watch my son play cricket. Maybe that's how I picked that up. But I think as we go into the winter I'll be a whiter shade of pale, to quote Procul Harum . . . And no truth to the rumour of using that stuff they slap on. Don't use any slip, slop, slap with bloody fake tan or anything like that." Excellent, now if we could just get tips on how to get the distinctive Emmo hairdo happening, with each follicle imitating a salmon trying to swim up a waterfall and spawn. Emmo's people have hinted they may get back to us with an answer. One day.

In Bob we trust

STILL feeling the warm glow of Bob Ellis's only occasionally self-promoting defence of Malcolm Turnbull in The Spectator Australia the other day, in which he claimed the fallen Liberal leader for the ALP, we wondered where the Labor warrior's adventures would take him next. What we didn't expect was that "next" would be a Liberal Party fundraiser. Yes, Ellis will be on a Q&A panel next month, helping raising dough for the Roseville branch of Bradfield, the Sydney electorate that recently passed from the hands of Brendan Nelson to Paul Fletcher. Also on the panel will be Fletcher's former pre-selection rival, The Spectator Australia editor Tom Switzer. The invitation promises "an evening of lively discussion on a variety of hot political topics". While that sounds highly likely, we'd suggest the organisers move the champagne and canapes to before the discussion kicks off.

Is that clear?

ONE of Strewth's colleagues got in touch with the Queensland Department of Environment and Resource Management in the hope of organising a photo of the Gold Coast desalination plant. As a request it was, one could be forgiven for thinking, relatively straightforward. Not so the department's reply, which achieves an almost Byzantine magnificence. Bear in mind as you cross its ornately cluttered expanse that QWC stands for Queensland Water Commission and PRW is purified recycled water. Also, leave a trail of breadcrumbs in case you need to find your way back out in a hurry: "The QWC is responsible for planning and policy aspects in relation to desal and PRW. WaterSecure runs the desal plant and Western Corridor Recyled Water Plant Water Grid Manager is responsible for the transfer of water around the grid and the sale of PRW to the power stations. Rather than sending you off to each entity yesterday I thought it would be easier to just get the information from each of them and incorporate in the one response to you. Given we are the planning/policy body and nothing to do with operation of the desal plant or Western Corridor it would be more appropriate for WaterSecure to be involved . . ." Incidentally, this message began with the words "Just to clarify".

Family first

ONE of Tasmania's many attractions is the boutique size of its population, but it's possible the state's new Labor-Green power-sharing cabinet demonstrates the pitfalls of having so few people. The two Greens cabinet representatives, leader Nick McKim and MP Cassy O'Connor, are, of course, "in a personal relationship", and will work together in at least one portfolio area. The 10-member cabinet announced yesterday includes a brother-and-sister team. Freshly elected David O'Byrne has been elevated immediately into cabinet, where his sister, Michelle O'Byrne, will be able to show him the ropes. Adding to the happy family is new parliamentary secretary Scott Bacon, son of former premier Jim Bacon, and stepson of former independent candidate Honey Bacon.

Check the silver

AHEAD of the swearing in of Tasmania's cabinet, Government House appeared keen to keep lowly journos out of its expansive cellar (restocked after Richard Butler's colourful incumbency) and off its priceless antique furniture. Anne Parker, official secretary to Governor Peter Underwood, warned in her media advisory: "Media representatives are reminded that they attend at the invitation of the Governor and that they will be under the supervision of Government House staff while on the premises." A vice-regal media watch?

Twin freaks

YESTERDAY marked a century since the death of Mark Twain, which gives us an excuse to run this prescient 1909 quote from the great man: "I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: `Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.' " Twain wasn't disappointed.