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MP in bumper

AS a batsman, Test cricket selector Andrew Hilditch was easily sucked into the skied hook-shot to fine leg where he would be routinely caught.

AS a batsman, Test cricket selector Andrew Hilditch was easily sucked into the skied hook-shot to fine leg where he would be routinely caught.

He scored two centuries in 18 Tests and finished with an average of 31.5. He is famous for being given out handling the ball against Pakistan- he was only being helpful, perhaps worried that the hot-headed bowler Sarfraz Narwaz might hurt his back bending down to retrieve it. (As an aside, the umpire could have called the ball dead and given Hilditch not out.) Having presided over the loss of the Ashes, Hilditch is now in the middle of a cyclone of derision for dropping Simon Katich from the list of contracted players. Why, even The Sunday Telegraph's Phil "Buzz" Rothfield says he "hasn't got a bloody clue". Now Defence Minister Stephen Smith has thrown in his opinion that Katich's axing is one of a "series of atrocities" against West Australian cricketers perpetrated by cricket authorities over the years, that it is "an extraordinary decision", and there isn't a better opener than Katich on the list. As Barrie Cassidy said on Insiders yesterday: "Middle stump, minister". It is tempting to suggest that Hilditch should now feel free to comment on Smith's handling of the defence portfolio. But on sober reflection, perhaps not.

Game plan: beer

IF Queensland defeats NSW in Wednesday's State of Origin match to take a 2-0 lead in the series, will coach Ricky Stuart find his coaching subjected to the scrutiny now being applied to Hilditch? For example, will Stuart's decision to take NSW players on a "bonding session" at the Charing Cross Hotel in Sydney's eastern suburbs be questioned? Given the copious quantities of alcohol consumed by some of the players - one knocked back at least four shots in quick succession - it might be seen in hindsight as a reason for a poor performance. On the other hand, if NSW wins Stuart would be seen as a coaching genius who has shown that getting drunk a week beforehand did no harm at all to the squad.

Special footy wrestle

A WITNESS to the NSW team's bonding session - which included semi-naked wrestling and splashing blue paint over each other - makes a valid point. "Any patron who did a fraction of what those blokes were doing would have been thrown out." But how does a slim barmaid throw a 100kg, fit, boozed-up rugby league player out of a bar?

Katter says no, Tony

WHEN federal Labor caucus chairman Daryl Melham appeared on Channel 10's Meet the Press show yesterday he said the last time he was on the program "I had black hair". To which Paul Bongiorno replied: "I had hair once". It must have been a very long time ago. One of the guests was Bob Katter, who probably lifts the ratings wherever he appears. Supervising producer Tom Krause says Katter was "very entertaining, as usual". Perhaps he should start charging a fee. Bongiorno asked whether he would consider rejoining the Liberal Party, after Tony Abbott's invitation: "I think Tony is doing an infinitely better job than his predecessors . . . But if Tony is going to say that his party offers us a mechanism for survival, I'm sorry - you don't come even remotely close to that. I said in those two weeks after the election all I'm after is a paradigm of survival. Our Christmases all came at once, we had that great power, the three amigos and I couldn't get agreement from my colleagues on anything at all so I was left with no alternative but the pathway I'm going down."

The Brown mirror

A RECENT unflattering cartoon of Infrastructure Minister Anthony Albanese by The Daily Telegraph's Warren Brown looks as if it has hit its mark rather harder than previously thought. It has prompted uncharacteristic introspection by Albo who, in Strewth's opinion, cuts a rather interesting devil-may-care exterior. He was getting ready to to talk to roads and construction industry leaders at Walsh Bay overlooking Sydney Harbour when he said: "It's true, that looking at me isn't as nice as looking out there [at the harbour] but my apologies for that. You are what you are." Nobody laughed, which must have added to Albo's sense of unease.

Insert Weiner gag

THE sexting scandal involving US Democrat congressman Anthony Weiner has seen The New York Post and its rival The Daily News trying to outdo each other in its headlines. "Naked truth" and "Weiner exposed" with a kicker "Battle of the bulge" offered the Post, which is edited by former Daily Telegraph editor Col Allan. "Weiner bares all" and "Hide the Weiner" said the News. "Fall on your sword" the Post replied and followed up with "Weiner: I'll stick it out" and "Weiner's pickle". When Weiner got teary-eyed, the Post said: "Weiner bawls", which is a beauty. While all this fine tabloid journalism was exciting New Yorkers, the staid New York Times headlined the story: "Tearful Weiner admits sending explicit picture". Katie Halper has started a Facebook group to support him. "Weiner is the only Democrat to show some balls".

strewth@theaustralian.com.au

Original URL: https://www.theaustralian.com.au/opinion/strewth/mp-in-bumper/news-story/44c4c35b1b00ae082a7ef10b7e66cf9b