Moving on at last

FOR anyone with a sense of aesthetics (or indeed eyesight), Movember sometimes can seem the cruellest month.

FOR anyone with a sense of aesthetics (or indeed eyesight), Movember sometimes can seem the cruellest month.

Mercifully, it is at an end, but not before raising a pile of loot for men's health. We particularly want to salute Wayne Swan and the male members of the Treasurer's team, who by last night had raised close to $21,000. Disappointingly, the team captain said at the outset he wouldn't be joining the moustache-sprouting antics himself, letting a 1970s Swan shot on his team's page on the Movember website do the talking. And it's an arresting vision: shoulder-length hair that wouldn't be out of place in an Eagles tribute band, framing a face punctuated by what may be a pair of doormats on the upper lip. (Check it out at au.movember. com/mospace/715666; if need be, we can petition Swan to reinstate this look.) However, Swan has apparently cut loose with the rising of parliament and let his mo-space run wild for the last four days of Movember, and has been rewarded with definite signs of growth. Swan's self-deprecating media adviser Adam Collins has not been so fortunate. As he noted last month, "I thought if given half a chance a fair-haired chap like myself could end up looking a bit like [Sea Change character] Diver Dan, but as we pass the halfway mark hopes are fading, with a faint blonde effort best described as questionable." Our colleague and unofficial moustache assessor Lanai Vasek tells us it never got beyond this modest level. But sod it; this is fundraising, so what we're after is quantity, not quality, and Collins has delivered in spades, generating close to $5500 for his team's total. There are some droll comments from Collins's donors on the web page, not least one from Ted Baillieu (or someone calling themselves so): "With my payrise, I can afford this now! Go Collo!"

Foley's Fiona flees

IF you think you're having a bad week, here's a little perspective: fresh from gaining a fist to the face, South Australian Treasurer and Strewth idol Kevin Foley has lost a key political staff member. Media adviser Fiona Webber is upping stumps and broke the news to Foley the day after he was assaulted in the early hours of the morning outside an Adelaide bar. Her departure follows hot on the heels of Foley's talented chief of staff Stephen Mullighan, who left to work for Deloitte. However, if having read this you feel your bad week easily overshadows Foley's, let us know. Poor old Kev could do with some perspective.

Hello, hello, hello

MEANWHILE, someone cruel and naughty has been circulating a gag email dressed up like a missive from South Australia Police, addressing the Foley incident: "You have been identified as one of 1,640,700 persons of interest with a clear motive to carry out such an attack, and accordingly SAPOL would like to arrange a follow-up interview with you to clarify your whereabouts between the hours of 3am-4am on Sunday, November 28. This email is to request your attendance at your nearest police station to answer some questions in our ongoing inquiries." We're sure this represents some acknowledgment of our favourite state Treasurer's towering stature.

Vice-regal returns

WE hear today is NSW Governor Marie Bashir's 80th birthday. As luck would have it, she's marking the day in the finest way: running the joint as Acting Governor-General while Quentin Bryce is off chasing the World Cup. Many happy returns, Gov! May we humbly recommend ransacking the vice-regal cellar and watching The Dismissal.

V8 pong

SOMETIMES marketing stunts ought to be saluted, so we'll quietly dip our lid to Vodafone and its V8 team, which rejoices in the matter-of-fact name of TeamVodafone. They've marked the V8 Supercar series, which kicks off in Sydney this week*, by launching Eau de Engine, "a stunning new fragrance for men that embodies the essence of heroism, uninhibited masculinity and V8 power, through the tantalising scent of burning rubber". As chucklesome as it is, 20 bucks says it will be in mainstream production before Christmas 2011. (*We're glad the dates got sorted out after Sydney was festooned with banners advertising last year's event.)

Dog days of summer

NOW that December is on us, we feel it's safe to start asking our elected representatives what they're hoping to score from Santa this year. First up is Liberal MP Josh Frydenberg, not least because we've been hinting to him about the possibility of a Strewth slot for some time. Frydenberg is of course the member for the sacred Liberal seat of Kooyong and, happily, is getting married later this month. So how can Santa help out? "My fiancee wants a dog," he tells Strewth. This could come in extra handy on the off chance Frydenberg takes a Harry Truman-esque view of friendship in politics. But as with everything else in the new(ish) paradigm, even canine acquisition can be complicated. "I want a golden retriever, but she wants a pug." We shudder to think what sort of hound could represent a suitable compromise, but if any of the dog-botherers among the Strewth readership have any suggestions, we'll pass them on.