Morning glory

WITH Valentines Day almost upon us, yesterday got off to an appropriately steamy start when Tony Abbott revealed that he finally got around to learning how to iron only this week.

WITH Valentines Day almost upon us, yesterday got off to an appropriately steamy start when Tony "Daze of our Housewives" Abbott revealed on the Nine Network's Today Show that, in the wake of Monday's fiasco, he finally got around to learning how to iron -- and we say this with an equal mix of alarm and awe -- only this week.

But what intrigued us even more on Today was the glimpse we had into the heart of Karl Stefanovic. When his other guest, Julia Gillard, said: "I was ironing as recently as last night, Karl, when I ironed this skirt that I'm wearing today", Stefanovic replied: "That's a nice skirt, too." On its own, it just looks a bit like good manners from the slightly flirty end of the spectrum. Until you think back to this exchange between the two just a couple of weeks ago:

KS: "All right, Julia Gillard, always nice to see you . . ."

JG: "Thank you."

KS: "You look great, too. Thank you very much."

JG: "Thanks, Karl."

KS: "That's not just an appearance thing, I'm . . . it goes deeper than that".

JG: "You look great too, Karl."

KS: "Thank you for getting me out of that."

In the words of the sign that welcomes you from Manhattan to Brooklyn, how sweet it is. We just wonder if Karl has Julia's name written all over his pencil case.

Error attack

THE Queensland government has managed to highlight for Barack Obama the value of a relaxed approach in more ways that one. When one of Premier Anna Bligh's senior advisers wrote to the US President last week, inviting him to the Sunshine State for a holiday once his official business in Australia was concluded, he accidentally spelled his first name as "Barrack". Not entirely inappropriately, "barrack" is how we translate the American verb "to root", which is more or less what happened to the letter. The adviser is mortified by his error, but we're confident Obama will be willing to overlook it.

Pollie pop

POP star Pink will be happy to know Western Australian Treasurer Troy Buswell doesn't take it personally that she's agreed to a multimillion-dollar deal to be the face of V8 Supercars Australia, despite suggestions in the west that the organisers could have ploughed some of that money into upgrading the crumbling Perth track , instead of simply dropping the Perth leg of the event in a shock decision this week. "I like Pink," Buswell declared. "My wife went to the concert," he added, before concluding with a slight but ultimately pleasing non sequitur: "And we're both going to AC/DC."

Pick a judge

THE High Court of Australia is an impersonal institution, ruled by principle not personality, although you might not think so when listening to those who make a close study of judicial form. At Queen's Square in Sydney yesterday, a pinstripe scrum of lawyers jostled in the hope that their case would, or would not, receive a hearing in the court of final appeal. It's up to a three-judge panel and its make-up is unknown until the judges waft into the courtroom. The first and only clue is the identity of the associate standing impassively behind each chair. "Gummow," whispered an observer in the public gallery. "Yes, the baby-faced one," replied his companion. They'd spotted the boyish associate to Bill Gummow, one of seven possible judges. Then in came Gummow with fellow judges Ken Hayne and Dyson Heydon. "Oh, shit," said the observer, possibly more audibly than planned. Whether this was a reaction to Hayne, Heydon, or indeed both, remains a mystery.

Scary powder

IT seems sugar ain't so sweet for Victorian Premier John Brumby and his fellow workers at 1 Treasury Place, Melbourne, where everyone was put on high alert last week when a routine security scan detected "organic material" in an envelope addressed to Brumby. The suspicious package triggered a full-scale emergency response, with police, fire engines and specialist hazardous chemical teams barging through morning rush-hour traffic to contain any threat and secure the nerve centre of Spring Street. It can now be revealed the substance was in fact doughnut sugar, which glows the same colour as anthrax and other chemical nasties under the security scan. Just let that thought sink in for a moment. In the meantime, spare a though for the poor security sod who detected the A4 envelope and promptly had a panic attack, requiring treatment from paramedics. Strewth understands the young bloke has kept his job but has been shifted to another site.

Reclaiming the saint

THE Catholic Church is on the march, revealing in The Southern Cross it has "moved to reclaim St Valentine's Day in a bold campaign focusing on the true meaning of the saint's feast day . . . St Valentine was executed on February 14, AD269 for going against a decree by Roman ruler Claudius that weddings be suspended because he needed unattached men to serve in his armies". Which actually sounds kind of exciting. Oh, yes, and some business about "the importance of romance in marriage". They'll be after Christmas next.