Message off the planet

PITY the poor inhabitants of Gliese 581d; some day it is going to be hit by a tsunami of spam.

PITY the poor inhabitants of Gliese 581d; some day in 20 years' time, the planet -- which was discovered in 2007 and is theoretically inhabitable (a bit like Los Angeles) -- is going to be hit by a tsunami of spam.

Our pollies have been among eager earthlings who've signed up at HelloFromEarth.net to have a message beamed at the planet. Science Minister Kim Carr did his bit to set the tone with this sentiment: "Hello from Australia on the planet we call Earth. These messages express our people's dreams for the future. We want to share these dreams with you." But Carr's opposition counterpart Eric Abetz was clearly on a different page when he wrote his cosmic missive: "The Coalition dreams that by the time you receive this message in 2029 Australia will be free of Labor debt. Sadly we're not holding our breath!" Perhaps it was the perky little exclamation mark that did it, but Abetz received this reply: "Your interstellar message was deemed inappropriate by the moderators and has been rejected and will not appear on the Hello From Earth site nor be transmitted." Still, as long as someone remembers to let the aliens know Dannii Minogue has stopped using Botox.

Danger ahead

THUMB-ring-wearing, pushbike-riding, internet-loving Tassie Premier David Bartlett is no longer the golden boy for the state ALP. Bartlett's latest preferred premier rating, in a poll out yesterday, has slumped 9 percentage points in just three months to 30 per cent. For the first time, he is behind Liberal opposition leader Will Hodgman, who's parked on 37 per cent. It's been a rapid fall from grace. Hodgman has meanwhile been capturing the hearts of the hoon end of the electorate by appearing in a video driving along the Midland Highway and outlining its dangers; dangers he successfully highlights by talking to the camera as he drives and taking a hand off the steering wheel to emphasise his points.

Jingle Bell

SHANE Warne isn't known to be a fan, but English batsman Ian Bell may have been attracting some followers lately with his posts on Twitter: "Hope the weather is better these next two days -- i want to wear my new sunglasses. We can still win this!!"; "Getting back to county cricket is just what i needed! Rebuild, regroup, refocus, re-energise, recharge, resolve, revenge"; and Strewth's favourite, "Forgot Ikea closes early on a Sunday. Come on England!!!" All fun and games until the English Cricket Board told everyone the Tweets were fake. Spoilsports.

Disappearing ink

WHAT can be done to save Gerard Henderson? As the erstwhile John Howard speechwriter's opinion pieces shrivel from their prominence in The Sydney Morning Herald (Strewth, yesterday) much like global warming-afflicted glaciers, boffins in the Strewth editorial climate change laboratory have been toiling around the clock (not a very large clock, it must be admitted). At the present rate of shrinkage -- descending steadily from the old cruising altitude in the mid to high-900s down to just over 600 -- we calculate Hendo's work will be little morethan an extended photo caption by year's end. Something must be done. The Herald without Hendo would be like Kilimanjaro without its snow (and Joe Hockey's footprints).

Dollar dazzler

THERE was much excitement at the Press Gallery Mid Winter Ball in June. Who can forget the festive antics of Sophie Mirabella's then staffer Anthony Scrinis? Or the robust discussion Malcolm Turnbull had at one of Kevin Rudd's staffers about some ute? Ah, yes, heady days. But amid the circus-like goings on, some serious dough was raised and the winter ball folks yesterday handed over $250,000 -- a record amount -- to seven charities, including Mirabel Foundation, Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, Sister2Sister and the Newborn Intensive Care Foundation, as well as the C.W.Bean Foundation, which is trying to get up a permanent memorial to Australian journos killed in war zones. Says the gallery's Steve Lewis: "In total, we have handed over about $1.3 million in 10 years, and I reckon given the publicity of this year's ball, we will have no problem securing sponsors for next year."

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