Levy lifting

AS the flood levy talk descends to hand-to-hand combat (we are thinking mainly, if not exclusively, about Julia "don't patronise me" Gillard's session with Melbourne broadcaster Neil Mitchell yesterday), we salute The Courier-Mail for bringing a measure of calm with its front page yesterday.

With the levy front-page news across the nation, the Queensland paper opted against a photo of post-flood reconstruction, which may have aggravated people contemplating how much they'll have to cough up, or a photo of someone already aggravated-delighted by the levy. Instead, they went with a large snap of a chicken called Steggles. Steggles was rescued from the Ipswich flood, but her views on the levy remain a mystery. Meanwhile, north Queensland MP Bob Katter has always struck us as a king among men, so it's only right he's reaching for the royal plural while contemplating the levy: "We have made no final decision, but we are in agreement that we, like most other Australians, would like to help out those impacted by the devastating floods." Fellow Queenslander Barnaby Joyce is sticking to a tried and true formula. Thus: "Labor's method to pay the bill for the floods basically involves a three-stage approach. One, kick out the dud lemons that were never going to financially fly, those projects that they were desperately looking for an excuse to strangle, such as the cash for clunkers . . ." And so on.

Sinking feeling

TONY Abbott's levy chat took a different turn when he went on radio station 2DAY FM with Kyle Sandilands and former Bardot singer and modelling type Sophie Monk: Here's how it went:

Abbott: "You see, donors will pay this tax, volunteers will pay this tax and in some cases victims will pay this tax because they might have had their business wiped out but not their residence and so they don't get the Centrelink payment so they will be paying the tax.

Monk: "You should run for prime minister, this makes a lot of sense."

Abbott: "That's a very good thought. Why don't you join my campaign team?"

Monk: "In bikinis, standing next to you."

Abbott: "Well, Kyle you can put the budgie smugglers on and . . ."

As unusual as it feels to say it, we're grateful almost beyond words to Sandilands for returning things to terra firma: "Oh gee, don't you want to win this thing? The message will certainly get driven home but I don't know whether it will be victorious for you."

Power plays

NSW Treasurer Eric Roozendaal was due to appear on Sky News Business' On the Record yesterday alongside his opposition shadow, Mike Baird for what was bound to be an energetic chat about the state's troubled electricity privatisation. It wasn't to be; Roozendaal pulled the plug (weak pun licence #54301), prompting Baird to reach into electric pun smorgasbord thus: "Each day that passes brings up more revelations of how shocking this deal is for NSW taxpayers." Show interrogator (and Strewth colleague) Imre Salusinszky is meanwhile trying to take the snub philosophically, informing Strewth: "I was disappointed to turn up at Sky News, bright and early, and find Eric had cancelled. I don't know what it is, but something about the man always cheers me up."

No dramas

WHEN the superb Bille Brown was made a member of the Order of Australia this week , it was in recognition for his service to the performing arts as an actor and playwright, and to education. As expected, Brown appears to be in no danger whatsoever of letting the experience go to his head. "I am an actor, not a celebrity, not a star, just a working actor," he told our colleague Ian Cuthbertson. Brown added that, to his continuing amusement, he is almost never recognised. "I was nominated for an award once and the producer sent a grand car to pick me up. I remember all these paparazzi coming around, and one looked at me as I stepped out and said to the others: 'Don't worry; it isn't anybody'."

Ultimate disconnect

TO honour Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak's demonstration that it is possible to disconnect a nation from the internet, we'll repeat a joke told by Egyptian publisher and liberal opposition figure Hisham Kassem, as quoted this week in Foreign Policy: "Mubarak, Barack Obama, and Vladimir Putin are at a meeting together when suddenly God appears before them. 'I have come to tell you that the end of the world will be in two days,' God says. So each leader prepares a television address. In Washington, Obama says, 'My fellow Americans, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I can confirm that God exists. The bad news is that he told me the world would end in two days.' In Moscow, Putin says, 'People of Russia, I regret that I have to inform you of two pieces of bad news. First, God exists, which means everything our country has believed in for most of the last century was false. Second, the world is ending in two days.' In Cairo, Mubarak says, 'O Egyptians, I come to you today with two pieces of excellent news! First, God and I have just held an important summit. Second, he told me I would be your president until the end of time.' "

James Jeffrey